Two Gentleman of Verona — Scene 1. (Part 10 of 12)

SPEED

'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'

LAUNCE

That makes amends for her sour breath.

SPEED

'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'

LAUNCE

It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

SPEED

'Item: She is slow in words.'

LAUNCE

O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.

SPEED

'Item: She is proud.'

LAUNCE

Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
be ta'en from her.

SPEED

'Item: She hath no teeth.'

LAUNCE

I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.

SPEED

'Item: She is curst.'

LAUNCE

Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.

SPEED

'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'

LAUNCE

If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
will; for good things should be praised.