Two Gentleman of Verona — Scene 1. (Part 11 of 12)

SPEED

'Item: She is too liberal.'

LAUNCE

Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
that cannot I help. Well, proceed.

SPEED

'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'

LAUNCE

Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
Rehearse that once more.

SPEED

'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'–

LAUNCE

More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
less. What's next?

SPEED

'And more faults than hairs,'–

LAUNCE

That's monstrous: O, that that were out!

SPEED

'And more wealth than faults.'

LAUNCE

Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
impossible,–

SPEED

What then?

LAUNCE

Why, then will I tell thee–that thy master stays
for thee at the North-gate.

SPEED

For me?

LAUNCE

For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
better man than thee.