The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS
ACHILLES
I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night,
Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.
Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
PATROCLUS
Here comes Thersites.
Enter THERSITES
ACHILLES
How now, thou core of envy!
Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news?
THERSITES
Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol
of idiot worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
ACHILLES
From whence, fragment?
THERSITES
Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.
PATROCLUS
Who keeps the tent now?
THERSITES
The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound.
PATROCLUS
Well said, adversity! and what need these tricks?
THERSITES
Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk:
thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.
PATROCLUS
Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?
THERSITES
Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases
of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs,
loads o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold
palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing
lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas,
limekilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the
rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take
again such preposterous discoveries!