Algernon He’s gone to order the dog-cart for me.
Cecily Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?
Algernon He’s going to send me away.
Cecily Then have we got to part?
Algernon I am afraid so. It’s a very painful parting.
Cecily It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.
Algernon Thank you.
Enter Merriman
Merriman The dog-cart is at the door, sir.
Algernon looks appealingly° at Cecily
Cecily It can wait, Merriman … for … five minutes.
Merriman Yes, miss.
Exit Merriman
Algernon I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.
Cecily I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into my diary. (Goes over to table and begins writing in diary)
Algernon Do you really keep a diary? I’d give anything to look at it. May I?
Cecily Oh no. (Puts her hand over it) You see, it is simply a very young girl’s record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a copy. But pray, Ernest, don’t stop. I delight in taking down from dictation. I have reached ‘absolute perfection.’ You can go on. I am quite ready for more.
Algernon (somewhat taken aback) Ahem! Ahem!
Cecily Oh, don’t cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don’t know how to spell a cough. (Writes as Algernon speaks)
Algernon (speaking very rapidly) Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.
Cecily I don’t think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?
Algernon Cecily!
Enter Merriman
Merriman The dog-cart is waiting, sir.