Mrs Allonby Twenty years of romance! Is there such a thing?
Lord Illingworth Not in our day. Women have become too brilliant. Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
Mrs Allonby Or the want of it in the man.
Lord Illingworth You are quite right. In a Temple everyone should be serious, except the thing that is worshipped.
Mrs Allonby And that should be man?
Lord Illingworth Women kneel so gracefully; men don’t.
Mrs Allonby You are thinking of Lady Stutfield!
Lord Illingworth I assure you I have not thought of Lady Stutfield for the last quarter of an hour.
Mrs Allonby Is she such a mystery?
Lord Illingworth She is more than a mystery—she is a mood.
Mrs Allonby Moods don’t last.
Lord Illingworth It is their chief charm.
Enter Hester and Gerald
Gerald Lord Illingworth, everyone° has been congratulating me, Lady Hunstanton and Lady Caroline, and…everyone. I hope I shall make a good secretary.
Lord Illingworth You will be the pattern secretary, Gerald.
(Talks to him) [apart]
Mrs Allonby You enjoy country life, Miss Worsley?
Hester Very much indeed.
Mrs Allonby Don’t find yourself longing for a London dinner-party?
Hester I dislike London dinner-parties.
Mrs Allonby I adore them. The clever people never listen, and the stupid people never talk.
Hester I think the stupid people talk a great deal.
Mrs Allonby Ah, I never listen!
Lord Illingworth My dear boy, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have made you the offer. It is because I like you so much that I want to have you with me.
Exit Hester with Gerald
Charming fellow, Gerald Arbuthnot!
Mrs Allonby He is very nice; very nice indeed. But I can’t stand the American young lady.