SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of
valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight
with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall
take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no
love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's
commendation with woman than report of valour.
FABIAN
There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
SIR ANDREW
Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief;
it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun
of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink:
if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be
amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
bed of Ware in England, set 'em down: go, about it.
Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
write with a goose- pen, no matter: about it.
SIR ANDREW
Where shall I find you?
SIR TOBY BELCH
We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go.
Exit SIR ANDREW
FABIAN
This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
strong, or so.
FABIAN
We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll
not deliver't?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Never trust me, then; and by all means stir on the
youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were
opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as
will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of
the anatomy.
FABIAN
And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no
great presage of cruelty.
Enter MARIA