Drama  |  Richard Sheridan  |  The Rivals  |  Act IV

The Rivals — Act IV (Part 2 of 11)

Acres. Out, you poltroon! you han’t the valour of a grasshopper.

Dav. Well, I say no more—’twill be sad news, to be sure, at Clod Hall! but I ha’ done. How Phillis will howl when she hears of it!—Ah, poor bitch, she little thinks what shooting her master’s going after! And I warrant old Crop, who has carried your honour, field and road, these ten years, will curse the hour he was born.

[Whimpering.

Acres. It won’t do, David—I am determined to fight—so get along, you coward, while I’m in the mind.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Captain Absolute, sir.

Acres. Oh! show him up.

[Exit Servant.

Dav. Well, Heaven send we be all alive this time to-morrow.

Acres. What’s that?—Don’t provoke me, David!

Dav. Good-bye, master.

[Whimpering

Acres. Get along, you cowardly, dastardly, croaking raven!

[Exit David.

Enter Captain Absolute.

Abs. What’s the matter, Bob?

Acres. A vile, sheep-hearted blockhead! If I hadn’t the valour of St. George and the dragon to boot—

Abs. But what did you want with me, Bob?

Acres. Oh!—There—

[Gives him the challenge.

Abs. [Aside] To Ensign Beverley.—So, what’s going on now? [Aloud.] Well, what’s this?

Acres. A challenge!

Abs. Indeed! Why, you won’t fight him; will you, Bob?

Acres. Egad, but I will, Jack. Sir Lucius has wrought me to it. He has left me full of rage—and I’ll fight this evening, that so much good passion mayn’t be wasted.

Abs. But what have I to do with this?

Acres. Why, as I think you know something of this fellow, I want you to find him out for me, and give him this mortal defiance.

Abs. Well, give it to me, and trust me he gets it.