Lady B. Ay, that’s true; but you know one grows weary of the prettiest things in the world, when one has had them long.
Sir J. Yes, I have taught her that.
Bel. Shall we provoke him a little?
[Apart to Lady B.
Lady B. With all my heart. Belinda, don’t you long to be married?
Bel. Why, there are some things in it which I could like well enough.
Lady B. What do you think you should dislike?
Bel. My husband: a hundred to one else.
Lady B. Oh! you wicked wretch! sure, you don’t speak as you think?
Bel. Yes, I do: especially if he smoked tobacco.
[Sir J. looks earnestly at them.
Lady B. Why, that, many times, takes off worse smells.
Bel. Then he must smell very ill indeed.
Lady B. So some men will, to keep their wives from coming near them.
Bel. Then those wives should cuckold them at a distance. [Sir J. runs in a fury, throws his pipe at them,
and drives them out. As they run off, enter C
Sir J. Oons! get you gone up stairs, you confederating strumpets you, or I’ll cuckold you, with a vengeance!
Lady B. Oh, lord! he’ll beat us, he’ll beat us! Dear Mr. Constant, save us!
[Exit with B
Sir J. I’ll cuckold you, with a pox!
Con. Heaven! Sir John, what’s the matter?
Sir J. Sure, if women had been ready created, the devil, instead of being kicked down into hell, had been married.
Heart. Why, what new plagues have you found now?
Sir J. Why, these two gentlewomen did but hear me say I expected you here this afternoon; upon which they presently resolved to take up the room on purpose to plague me and my friends.
Con. Was that all? Why, we should have been glad of their company.
Sir J. Then I should have been weary of your’s; for I can’t relish both together. They found fault with my smoking tobacco, too, and said men stunk; but I had a good mind to say something.
Con. Oh! nothing against the ladies, I hope?