The dinner had long been finished, and all the wines had been tried, but the guests still lingered at the table. Tchitchikoff was unwilling to approach Nozdreff on the matter of most importance to himself in the presence of the brother-in-law. The subject was one that demanded solitude and a friendly discussion. However, after all the brother-in-law could hardly be a dangerous person, for he appeared to be pretty thoroughly intoxicated, and as he sat there he kept pecking at the table with his nose. Becoming conscious all at once that he was not in a very nice condition, he made a suggestion that he had better start for home, but he did so in as languid and feeble a voice as if, to use the Russian expression, he were bridling a horse with pincers.
“No, no, ni, ni! I won’t let you go!” said Nozdreff.
“Oh, don’t detain me, my friend; I really must go,” said the brother-in-law. “You ought not to detain me.”
“Nonsense, nonsense! we’ll set up a bank in a minute.”
“No; set it up yourself, brother, but I can’t. My wife will be in a great rage, she will indeed. I shall have to tell her all about the fair. I must, brother—I really must go at once. No, don’t detain me.”
“Well! let your wife go to——. A mighty important matter you have to discuss with her!”
“No, brother; but she is so worthy of esteem, and so true! She renders me such services that, will you believe it? the tears come into my eyes at thought of her. No, don’t keep me here; as I am an honest man I must leave.”
“Let him go; of what use is he?” said Tchitchikoff softly to Nozdreff.
“Well, that’s true,” said Nozdreff. “I hate such people like death itself!” and he added aloud, “Well, the Devil be with you! go and dally with your wife, fetiuk.”3
“No, brother, don’t call me fetiuk,” retorted his brother-in-law. “I am indebted to her for my life. She really is so good and sweet, and she caresses me so—it moves me to tears. If she asks me what I have seen at the fair, I shall have to tell her all about it—she really is so charming.”
“Well, go and tell her a pack of lies! There’s your cap.”
“No, brother, it is not at all proper for you to express yourself about her in that manner; it is the same thing as insulting me, I may say—she is so lovely.”
“Well, then, take yourself off to her as quickly as possible.”
“Yes, brother, I am going. Excuse me for not staying; I should be heartily glad to do so, but I cannot.” And the brother-in-law continued to repeat his apologies for a long while without perceiving that he had already been seated for some time in his britchka, that he passed through the gates, and that the open fields alone were spread around him. We may safely conclude from his condition that his wife did not learn many particulars with regard to the fair.
“What a fool!” said Nozdreff, as he stood at the window and watched the retreating carriage. “How he goes along! That little side-horse isn’t a bad one, though; I have long wanted to get my hands on him. But there’s nothing to be done with my brother-in-law; he’s a fetiuk, just simply a fetiuk!”
After this they went back to the sitting-room. Porfiriy brought in lights, and Tchitchikoff observed that his host held a pack of cards which had most mysteriously made their way into his hands.
“Well, my dear fellow!” said Nozdreff, pressing the cards with his fingers, “come, just to while away the time, I’ll hold a three-hundred-rouble bank.”