affair, Mr Puffington, like a thorough sportsman, and one who never trashes his hounds unnecessarily -- unlike some masters,’’ you may say, ‘‘who never know when to leave off’’ (that will be a hit at Old Scamp,’ observed Jack, with a frightful squint), ‘ ‘‘returned to Hanby House, where a distinguished party of sportsmen -- ’’ or, say ‘‘a distinguished party of noblemen and gentlemen’’ -- that’ll please the ass more -- ‘‘a large party of noblemen and gentlemen were partaking of his’’ -- his -- what shall we call it?’
‘Grub!’ said Sponge.
‘No, no -- summut genteel -- his -- his -- his -- ‘‘splendid hospitality!’’ ’ concluded Jack waving his arm triumphantly over his head.
‘Hard work, authorship!’ exclaimed Sponge, as he finished writing, and threw down the pen.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ replied Jack; adding, ‘I could go on for an hour.’
‘Ah, you! -- that’s all very well,’ replied Sponge, ‘for you, squatting comfortably in your armchair: but consider me, toiling with my pen, bothered with the writing, and craning at the spelling.’
‘Never mind, we’ve done it,’ replied Jack; adding, ‘Puff’ll be as pleased as Punch. We’ve polished him off uncommon. That’s just the sort of account to tickle the beggar. He’ll go riding about the country, showing it to everybody, and wondering who wrote it.’
‘And what shall we send it to? -- the Sporting Magazine, or what?’ asked Sponge.
‘Sporting Magazine! -- no,’ replied Jack; ‘wouldn’t be out till next year -- quick’s the word in these railway times. Send it to a newspaper -- Bell’s Life, or one of the Swillingford papers. Either of them would be glad to put it in.’
‘I hope they’ll be able to read it,’ observed Sponge, looking at the blotched and scrawled manuscript.
‘Trust them for that,’ replied Jack; adding, ‘If there’s any word that bothers them, they’ve nothin’ to do but look in the dictionary -- these folks all have dictionaries, wonderful fellows for spellin’.’
Just then a little buttony page, in green and gold, came in to ask if there were any letters for the post; and our friends hastily made up their packet, directing it to the editor of the Swillingford ‘Guide to Glory and Freeman’s Friend:’ words that in the hurried style of Mr Sponge’s penmanship looked very like ‘Guide to Grog, and Freeman’s Friend.’