old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the mystery man on the beach, a retriever Mrs Miriam Dandrade and
all her lovers.
THE HUE AND CRY (Helterskelterelterwelter) He's Bloom! Stop Bloom! Stopabloom! Stopperrobber!
Hi! Hi! Stop him on the corner!
(At the corner of Beaver Street beneath the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the fringe of the noisy
quarrelling knot, a lot not knowing a jot what hi! hi! row and wrangle round the whowhat brawlaltogether.)
STEPHEN (With elaborate gestures, breathing deeply and slowly.) You are my guests. The uninvited.
By virtue of the fifth of George and seventh of Edward. History to blame. Fabled by mothers of memory.
PRIVATE CARR (To Cissy Caffrey.) Was he insulting you?
STEPHEN Addressed her in vocative feminine. Probably neuter. Ungenitive.
VOICES No, he didn't. The
girl's telling lies. He was in Mrs Cohen's. What's up? Soldiers and civilians.
CISSY CAFFREY I was in company with the soldiers and they left me to do - you know and the young
man ran up behind me. But I'm faithful to the man that's treating me though I'm only a shilling whore.
STEPHEN (Catches sight of Kitty's and Lynch's heads.) Hail, Sisyphus. (He points to himself and the
others.) Poetic. Neopoetic.
VOICES She's faithfultheman.
CISSY CAFFREY Yes, to go with him. And me with a soldier friend.
PRIVATE COMPTON He doesn't half want a thick ear, the blighter. Biff him one, Harry.
PRIVATE CARR (To Cissy.) Was he insulting you while me and him was having a piss?
LORD TENNYSON (In Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, flowingbearded.) Their's not
to reason why.
PRIVATE COMPTON Biff him, Harry.
STEPHEN (To Private Compton. ) I don't know your name but you are quite right. Doctor Swift says
one man in armour will beat ten men in their shirts. Shirt is synechdoche. Part for the whole.
CISSY CAFFREY (To the crowd.) No, I was with the private.
STEPHEN (Amiably.) Why not? The bold soldier boy. In my opinion every lady for example...
PRIVATE CARR (His cap awry, advancing to Stephen.) Say, how would it be, governor, if I was to bash
in your jaw?
STEPHEN (Looks up in the sky.) How? Very unpleasant. Noble art of self-pretence. Personally, I detest
action. (He waves his hand) Hand hurts me slightly. Enfin, ce sont vos oignons.
(To Cissy Caffrey.) Some trouble is on here. What is it, precisely?
DOLLY GRAY (From her balcony waves her handkerchief giving the sign of the heroine of Jericho.) Rahab.
Cook's son, goodbye. Safe home to Dolly. Dream of the girl you left behind and she will dream of you.
(The soldiers turn their swimming eyes.)