“You may have observed, Miss Summerson,” said Mrs Pardiggle, “in some of the lists to which I have referred, in the possession of our esteemed friend Mr Jarndyce, that the names of my young family are concluded with the name of O. A. Pardiggle, F.R.S., one pound. That is their father. We usually observe the same routine. I put down my mite first; then my young family enrol their contributions, according to their ages and their little means; and then Mr Pardiggle brings up the rear. Mr Pardiggle is happy to throw in his limited donation, under my direction; and thus things are made, not only pleasant to ourselves, but, we trust, improving to others.”
Suppose Mr Pardiggle were to dine with Mr Jellyby, and suppose Mr Jellyby were to relieve his mind after dinner to Mr Pardiggle, would Mr Pardiggle, in return, make any confidential communication to Mr Jellyby? I was quite confused to find myself thinking this, but it came into my head.
“You are very pleasantly situated here!” said Mrs Pardiggle.
We were glad to change the subject; and going to the window, pointed out the beauties of the prospect, on which the spectacles appeared to me to rest with curious indifference.
“You know Mr Gusher?” said our visitor.
We were obliged to say that we had not the pleasure of Mr Gusher’s acquaintance.
“The loss is yours, I assure you,” said Mrs Pardiggle, with her commanding deportment. “He is a very fervid impassioned speaker — full of fire! Stationed in a wagon on this lawn, now, which, from the shape of the land, is naturally adapted to a public meeting, he would improve almost any occasion you could mention for hours and hours! By this time, young ladies,” said Mrs Pardiggle, moving back to her chair, and overturning, as if by invisible agency, a little round table at a considerable distance with my work- basket on it, “by this time you have found me out, I dare say?”
This was really such a confusing question that Ada looked at me in perfect dismay. As to the guilty nature of my own consciousness, after what I had been thinking, it must have been expressed in the colour of my cheeks.
“Found out, I mean,” said Mrs Pardiggle, “the prominent point in my character. I am aware that it is so prominent as to be discoverable immediately. I lay myself open to detection, I know. Well! I freely admit, I am a woman of business. I love hard work, I enjoy hard work. The excitement does me good. I am so accustomed and inured to hard work, that I don’t know what fatigue is.”
We murmured that it was very astonishing and very gratifying; or something to that effect. I don’t think we knew what it was either, but this is what our politeness expressed.
“I do not understand what it is to be tired; you cannot tire me if you try!” said Mrs Pardiggle. “The quantity of exertion (which is no exertion to me), the amount of business (which I regard as nothing), that I go through, sometimes astonishes myself. I have seen my young family, and Mr Pardiggle, quite worn out with witnessing it, when I may truly say I have been as fresh as a lark!”
If that dark-visaged eldest boy could look more malicious than he had already looked, this was the time when he did it. I observed that he doubled his right fist, and delivered a secret blow into the crown of his cap, which was under his left arm.
“This gives me a great advantage when I am making my rounds,” said Mrs Pardiggle. “If I find a person unwilling to hear what I have to say, I tell that person directly, ‘I am incapable of fatigue, my good friend, I am never tired, and I mean to go on until I have done.’ It answers admirably! Miss Summerson, I hope I shall have your assistance in my visiting rounds immediately, and Miss Clare’s very soon?”