and she never defended herself; and her anger disappeared on the instant if she saw the person against whom it was directed in trouble. At the first request for alms, no matter from whom it proceeded, she gave all that she had, before she even had time to reflect on the impropriety of flinging away her purse with everything which it contained.
There was something impetuous about her. When she spoke, it seemed as though everything followed her thoughts: the expression of her countenance, the tone of her voice, the movements of her hands, the very folds of her garments, all seemed to incline in the same direction, and it was as though she were on the point of flying after her own words. There was no reserve about her. She never feared to reveal her thoughts to anyone and no power on earth could reduce her to silence when she wished to speak. Moreover, her peculiar and bewitching walk was so free and unconstrained that anyone would involuntarily make way for her. In her presence a wicked man grew confused and silent; the most audacious and unrestrained in his language found not a word to say to her, but lost his wits: though the shy man was able to converse with her as he had never done with anyone else in all his life, and felt from the first moment of the conversation as if he had known her somewhere before, and had already beheld her features; it seemed to him that this had happened in the depths of his boyhood in some familiar house, on a merry evening, amid the joyous games of a throng of children; and for a long time afterwards the man’s age of discretion seemed wearisome to him.
The very same thing happened in the case of Tentyotnikoff. It seemed to him, from the first day of their acquaintance, that he had always known her. A new, inexplicable sensation penetrated his soul; for an instant a gleam of light illumined his wearisome life. At first the general received the young fellow well and gladly, but they could not get on together. Their conversations ended in disputes, and left a certain unpleasant feeling on both sides: for the general was not fond of contradiction or retorts; and Tentyotnikoff, on his side, was quick to take offence. Of course he forgave the father a great deal for the daughter’s sake; and peace was preserved between them, until some relatives came to visit the general—Countess Boduireva and Princess Yuzyakina, who had been maids of honour at court during the preceding reign, and who now kept up some connections with Petersburg, in consequence of which the general paid them great deference. From the very day of their arrival, it seemed to Tentyotnikoff that he was treated more coldly—that he was overlooked, or regarded as a person of no importance: he was addressed in a somewhat unduly familiar fashion as “My dearest fellow!” “Listen, my friend!” and indeed once the general even said “thou” to him.
This last enraged him. Nevertheless, hardening his heart and setting his teeth, he had the presence of mind to say, in an unusually soft and courteous tone, while a spot of crimson made its appearance on his face, and everything within him was boiling, “I am obliged to you for your kindly sentiments, general. By employing the word thou, you display an amount of friendship which almost induces me to address you as thou also. But the difference in our ages precludes such familiarity between us.”
The general was thrown into confusion. Collecting his words and ideas, he began to say, though in rather an incoherent manner, that the word thou had not been uttered by him in that sense; that it was permissible for an old man to say thou to a young one, and so on. It may be noted that he did not utter a syllable about his rank.
Of course, their acquaintance ceased from that moment, and the love affair came to an end at its very outset. The light which had shone for an instant before Tentyotnikoff was extinguished, and the shadows which followed upon it seemed all the blacker. His life, indeed, became what the reader has seen at the beginning of this chapter—it was all converted into lying in bed and inactivity. Dirt and disorder took possession of his house. The broom stood for half a day in the middle of the floor, in company with the dirt. His old trousers even strayed into the drawing-room. On the elegant little table which stood in front of the divan there lay a pair of braces, just as though they had been refreshment for a visitor. Our young friend’s existence had become trivial and slothful to such a degree that not only did his servants cease to respect him, but the very cocks and hens pecked at him.