`No, sir!' he said, in his grandest manner. `You will excuse Me, I am sure; but these are My passengers. The accident has happened on board My ship, and under My orders. It is for Me to make compensation.' He turned to the angry fishermen. `Come here, my men!' he said, in the Mhruxian dialect. `Tell me the weight of each sack. I saw you weighing them just now.'
Then ensued a perfect Babel of noise, as the five natives explained, all screaming together, how the sailors had carried off the weights, and they had done what they could with whatever came handy.
Two iron belaying-pins, three blocks, six holy stones, four winch-handles, and a large hammer, were now carefully weighed, the Captain superintending and noting the results. But the matter did not seem to be settled, even then: an angry discussion followed, in which the sailors and the five natives all joined: and at last the Captain approached our tourists with a disconcerted look, which he tried to conceal under a laugh.
`It's an absurd difficulty,' he said. `Perhaps one of you gentlemen can suggest something. It seems they weighed the sacks two at a time!'
`If they didn't have five separate weighings, of course you ca'n't value them separately,' the youth hastily decided.
`Let's hear all about it,' was the old man's more cautions remark.
`They did have five separate weighings,' the Captain said, `but -- well, it beats me entirely!' he added, in a sudden burst of candour. `Here's the result: First and second sacks weighed twelve pounds; second and third, thirteen and a half; third and fourth, eleven and a half; fourth and fifth, eight; and then they say they had only the large hammer left, and it took three sacks to weigh it down -- that's the first, third, and fifth -- and they weighed sixteen pounds. There, gentlemen! Did you ever hear anything like that?'
The old man muttered under his breath, `If only my sister were here!' and looked helplessly at his son. His son looked at the five natives. The five natives looked at the Captain. The Captain looked at nobody: his eyes were cast down, and he seemed to be saying softly to himself, `Contemplate one another, gentlemen, if such be your good pleasure. I contemplate Myself!'
`AND what made you choose the first train, Goosey,' said Mad Mathesis, as they got into the cab. Couldn't you count better than that?'
`I took an extreme case,' was the tearful reply. `Our excellent preceptress always says, "When in doubt, my dears, take an extreme case." And I was in doubt.'
`Does it always succeed?' her aunt inquired.
Clara sighed. `Not always,' she reluctantly admitted. `And I ca'n't make out why. One day she was telling the little girls -- they make such a noise at tea, you know -- "The more noise you make, the less jam you will have, and vice versa." And I thought they wouldn't know what "vice versa" meant: so I explained it to them. I said, "If you make an infinite noise, you'll get no jam: and if you make no noise, you'll get an infinite lot of jam." But our excellent preceptress said that wasn't a good instance. Why wasn't it?' she added plaintively.
Her aunt evaded the question. `One sees certain objections to it,' she said. `But how did you work it with the Metropolitan trains? None of them go infinitely fast, I believe.'