SCENE I.—A Room in Boniface’s Inn

Knocking without, enter Boniface.

Bon. Coming! Coming!—A coach and six foaming horses at this time o’ night! some great man, as the saying is, for he scorns to travel with other people.

Enter Sir Charles Freeman.

Sir Chas. What, fellow! a public house, and abed when other people sleep?

Bon. Sir, I an’t abed, as the saying is.

Sir Chas. Is Mr. Sullen’s family abed, think’ee?

Bon. All but the squire himself, sir, as the saying is; he’s in the house.

Sir Chas. What company has he?

Bon. Why, sir, there’s the constable, Mr. Gage the exciseman, the hunch-backed barber, and two or three other gentlemen.

Sir Chas. I find my sister’s letters gave me the true picture of her spouse.


Enter Squire Sullen, drunk.

Bon. Sir, here’s the squire.

Squire Sul. The puppies left me asleep—Sir!

Sir Chas. Well, sir.

Squire Sul. Sir, I am an unfortunate man—I have three thousand pounds a year, and I can’t get a man to drink a cup of ale with me.

Sir Chas. That’s very hard.

Squire Sul. Ay, sir; and unless you have pity upon me, and smoke one pipe with me, I must e’en go home to my wife, and I had rather go to the devil by half.

Sir Chas. But I presume, sir, you won’t see your wife to-night; she’ll be gone to bed. You don’t use to lie with your wife in that pickle?

Squire Sul. What! not lie with my wife! why, sir, do you take me for an atheist or a rake?

Sir Chas. If you hate her, sir, I think you had better lie from her.

Squire Sul. I think so too, friend. But I’m a justice of peace, and must do nothing against the law.

Sir Chas. Law! as I take it, Mr. Justice, nobody observes law for law’s sake, only for the good of those for whom it was made.

Squire Sul. But, if the law orders me to send you to jail, you must lie there, my friend.

Sir Chas. Not unless I commit a crime to deserve it.

  By PanEris using Melati.

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