Merriman Mr Ernest Worthing has just driven over from the station. He has brought his luggage with him.°

Cecily (takes the card and reads it) ‘Mr Ernest Worthing, B.4 The Albany, W.’° Uncle Jack’s brother! Did you tell him Mr Worthing was in town?

Merriman Yes, Miss. He seemed very much disappointed. I mentioned that you and Miss Prism were in the garden. He said he was anxious to speak to you privately for a moment.

Cecily Ask Mr Ernest Worthing to come here. I suppose you had better talk to the housekeeper about a room° for him.

Merriman Yes, Miss.

Merriman goes off

Cecily I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like everyone else.

Enter Algernon,° very gay and debonair

He does!

Algernon (raising his hat) You are my little cousin Cecily, I’m sure.

Cecily You are under some strange mistake. I am not little. In fact, I believe I am more than usually tall for my age. (Algernon is rather taken aback) But I am your cousin Cecily. You, I see from your card, are Uncle Jack’s brother, my cousin Ernest, my wicked cousin Ernest.

Algernon Oh! I am not really wicked at all, cousin Cecily. You mustn’t think that I am wicked.

Cecily If you are not, then you have certainly been deceiving us all in a very inexcusable manner. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.

Algernon (looks at her in amazement) Oh! Of course I have been rather reckless.

Cecily I am glad to hear it.°

Algernon In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my own small way.

Cecily I don’t think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must have been very pleasant.

Algernon It is much pleasanter being here with you.

Cecily I can’t understand how you are here at all. Uncle Jack won’t be back till Monday afternoon.

Algernon That is a great disappointment.° I am obliged to go up by the first train on Monday morning. I have a business appointment that I am anxious. … to miss!

Cecily Couldn’t you miss it anywhere but in London?

Algernon No: the appointment is in London.

Cecily Well, I know, of course, how important it is not to keep a business engagement, if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of life, but still I think you had better wait till Uncle Jack arrives. I know he wants to speak to you about your emigrating.