Lord Caversham No, sir; I have called this evening for a definite purpose, and I am going to see it through at all costs to my health or yours. Put down my cloak, sir.

Lord Goring Certainly, father. But let us go into another room. (Rings bell) There is a dreadful draught here.

Enter Phipps

Phipps, is there a good fire in the smoking-room?

Phipps Yes, my lord.° [Opens smoking-room door]

Lord Goring Come in there, father. Your sneezes are quite heart-rending.

Lord Caversham Well, sir, I suppose I have a right to sneeze when I choose?

Lord Goring (apologetically) Quite so, father. I was merely expressing sympathy.

Lord Caversham Oh, damn sympathy. There is a great deal too much of that sort of thing going on nowadays.

Lord Goring I quite agree with you, father. If there was less sympathy in the world there would be less trouble in the world.

Lord Caversham (going towards the smoking-room) That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes.

Lord Goring So do I, father. Everybody one meets is a paradox nowadays. It is a great bore. It makes society so obvious.

Lord Caversham (turning round, and looking at his son beneath his bushy eyebrows) Do you always really understand what you say, sir?

Lord Goring (after some hesitation) Yes, father, if I listen attentively.

Lord Caversham (indignantly) If you listen attentively!… Conceited young puppy!

Goes off grumbling into the smoking-room. Phipps [returns]

Lord Goring Phipps, there is a lady coming to see me this evening on particular business. Show her into the drawing-room when she arrives. You understand?

Phipps Yes, my lord.

Lord Goring It is a matter of the gravest importance, Phipps.

Phipps I understand, my lord.

Lord Goring No one else is to be admitted, under any circumstances.

Phipps I understand, my lord.

Bell rings

Lord Goring Ah! that is probably the lady. I shall see her myself. Just as he is going towards the door Lord Caversham enters from the smoking-room

Lord Caversham Well, sir? am I to wait attendance on you?