Lady Hunstanton Ah, yes!—the moral qualities in women—that is the important thing. I am afraid, Caroline, that dear Lord Illingworth doesn’t value the moral qualities in women as much as he should.

Enter Lord Illingworth°

Lady Stutfield The world says that Lord Illingworth is very, very wicked.

Lord Illingworth But what world says that, Lady Stutfield? It must be the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms.

Sits down beside Mrs Allonby

Lady Stutfield Everyone I know says you are very, very wicked.

Lord Illingworth It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely and entirely true.

Lady Hunstanton Dear Lord Illingworth is quite hopeless, Lady Stutfield. I have given up trying to reform him. It would take a Public Company with a Board of Directors and a paid Secretary to do that. But you have the secretary already, Lord Illingworth, haven’t you? Gerald Arbuthnot has told us of his good fortune; it is really most kind of you.

Lord Illingworth Oh, don’t say that, Lady Hunstanton. Kind is a dreadful word. I took a great fancy to young Arbuthnot the moment I met him, and he’ll be of considerable use to me in something I am foolish enough to think of doing.

Lady Hunstanton He is an admirable young man. And his mother is one of my dearest friends. He has just gone for a walk with our pretty American. She is very pretty, is she not?

Lady Caroline Far too pretty. These American girls° carry off all the good matches. Why can’t they stay in their own country? They are always telling us it is the Paradise of women.

Lord Illingworth It is, Lady Caroline. That is why, like Eve, they are so extremely anxious to get out of it.

Lady Caroline Who are Miss Worsley’s parents?

Lord Illingworth American women are wonderfully clever in concealing their parents.

Lady Hunstanton My dear Lord Illingworth, what do you mean? Miss Worsley, Caroline, is an orphan.° Her father was a very wealthy millionaire or philanthropist, or both, I believe, who entertained my son quite hospitably, when he visited Boston. I don’t know how he made his money, originally.

Kelvil I fancy in American dry goods.°

Lady Hunstanton What are American dry goods?

Lord Illingworth American novels.

Lady Hunstanton How very singular!…Well, from whatever source her large fortune came, I have a great esteem for Miss Worsley. She dresses exceedingly well. All Americans do dress well. They get their clothes in Paris.

Mrs Allonby They say, Lady Hunstanton, that when good Americans die they go to Paris.

Lady Hunstanton Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do they go to?