Mrs Erlynne So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. (Sits beside her on the sofa) Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so much interested in his political career. I think he’s sure to be a wonderful success. He thinks like a Tory and talks like a Radical, and that’s so important nowadays. He’s such a brilliant talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits that. Lord Allendale was saying to me only yesterday, in the Park, that Mr Graham talks almost as well as his aunt.

Lady Jedburgh (R.) Most kind of you to say these charming things to me!

Mrs Erlynne smiles, and continues conversation

Dumby (to Cecil Graham) Did you introduce Mrs Erlynne to Lady Jedburgh?

Cecil Graham Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn’t help it! That woman can make one do anything she wants. How, I don’t know.

Dumby Hope to goodness she won’t speak to me! (Saunters towards Lady Plymdale)

Mrs Erlynne (C. To Lady Jedburgh) On Thursday? With great pleasure. (Rises, and speaks to Lord Windermere, laughing) What a bore it is to have to be civil to these old dowagers! But they always insist on it!

Lady Plymdale (to Mr Dumby) Who is that well-dressed woman talking to Windermere?

Dumby Haven’t got the slightest idea! Looks like an édition de luxe of a wicked French novel,° meant specially for the English market.

Mrs Erlynne So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear she is frightfully jealous of him. He doesn’t seem anxious to speak to me tonight. I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw-coloured women have dreadful tempers. Do you know, I think I’ll dance with you first,° Windermere. (Lord Windermere bites his lip and frowns) It will make Lord Augustus so jealous! Lord Augustus! (Lord Augustus comes down) Lord Windermere insists on my dancing with him first, and, as it’s his own house, I can’t well refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you.

Lord Augustus (with a low bow) I wish I could think so, Mrs Erlynne.

Mrs Erlynne You know it far too well. I can fancy a person dancing through life with you and finding it charming.

Lord Augustus (placing his hand on his white waistcoat) Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies!

Mrs Erlynne What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just the sort of speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet.° (Goes towards ball-room on Lord Windermere’s arm) Ah, Mr Dumby, how are you? I am so sorry I have been out the last three times you have called. Come and lunch on Friday.

Dumby (with perfect nonchalance) Delighted!°

Lady Plymdale glares with indignation at Mr Dumby. Lord Augustus follows Mrs Erlynne and Lord Windermere into the ball-room holding bouquet

Lady Plymdale (to Mr Dumby) What an absolute brute you are! I never can believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn’t know her? What do you mean by calling on her three times running? You are not to go to lunch there; of course you understand that?

Dumby My dear Laura, I wouldn’t dream of going!