Lord Windermere No explanations are necessary about my friendship with Mrs Erlynne.

Lord Augustus Hem! Well, look here, dear old fellow. Do you think she will ever get into this demmed thing called Society? Would you introduce her to your wife?° No use beating about the confounded bush. Would you do that?

Lord Windermere Mrs Erlynne is coming here tonight.

Lord Augustus Your wife has sent her a card?

Lord Windermere Mrs Erlynne has received a card.°

Lord Augustus Then she’s all right, dear boy. But why didn’t you tell me that before? It would have saved me a heap of worry and demmed misunderstandings!

Lady Agatha and Mr Hopper cross° and exit on terrace L.U.E.

Parker Mr Cecil Graham!

Enter Mr Cecil Graham

Cecil Graham (bows to Lady Windermere, passes over and shakes hands with Lord Windermere). Good evening, Arthur. Why don’t you ask me how I am?° I like people to ask me how I am. It shows a widespread interest in my health. Now, tonight I am not at all well. Been dining with my people. Wonder why it is one’s people are always so tedious? My father would talk morality after dinner. I told him he was old enough to know better. But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all. Hullo, Tuppy! Hear you’re going to be married again; thought you were tired of that game.

Lord Augustus You’re excessively trivial, my dear boy, excessively trivial!

Cecil Graham By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice married and once divorced, or twice divorced and once married? I say you’ve been twice divorced and once married. It sounds so much more probable.

Lord Augustus I have a very bad memory. I really don’t remember which. (Moves away R.)°

Lady Plymdale Lord Windermere, I’ve something most particular to ask you.

Lord Windermere I am afraid—if you will excuse me—I must join my wife.

Lady Plymdale Oh, you mustn’t dream of such a thing. It’s most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when they’re alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks like a happy married life. But I’ll tell you what it is at supper.

Moves towards door of ball-room

Lord Windermere (C.) Margaret! I must speak to you.

Lady windermere Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington?° Thanks. (Comes down to him)

Lord Windermere (crossing to her) Margaret, what you said before dinner was, of course, impossible?

Lady windermere That woman is not coming here tonight.