Act 3 - Scene 5
A room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH
Bardolph, I say,
Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't.
Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a
barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the
Well, if I be served such another trick,
I'll have my brains ta'en out and buttered, and give
them to a dog
for a new-year's gift. The rogues
slighted me into the river with as little remorse as
they would have drowned
a blind bitch's puppies,
fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size
that I have a kind of alacrity in
sinking; if the
bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had
been drowned, but that the shore was
shallow, a death that I abhor; for the water swells
a man; and what a thing should I have been
had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.
Re-enter BARDOLPH with sack
Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.
Let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my
belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs
pills to cool the reins. Call her in.
Come in, woman!
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY
By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your worship
Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of
With eggs, sir?
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