If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so,
I could be knighted.
What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights
will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the
article of thy
We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I
might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat
as long as I have an eye to make difference of
men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised
modesty; and gave such orderly and
well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I
would have sworn
his disposition would have gone to
the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere
and keep place
together than the Hundredth Psalm to
the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow,
threw this whale,
with so many tuns of oil in his
belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged
on him? I think the best
way were to entertain him
with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted
him in his own grease. Did
you ever hear the like?
Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and
Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery
opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy
letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I
protest, mine never shall. I warrant
he hath a
thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for
different namessure, more, and these are of
second edition: he will print them, out of doubt;
for he cares not what he puts into the press, when
would put us two. I had rather be a giantess,
and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you
turtles ere one chaste man.
Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very
words. What doth he think of us?
Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to
wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain
myself like one
that I am not acquainted withal;
for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I
know not myself, he
would never have boarded me in this fury.
'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him
MISTRESS PAGE So will I
if he come under my hatches, I'll never
to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's
appoint him a meeting; give
him a show of comfort in
his suit and lead him on with a fine-baited delay,
till he hath pawned his horses
to mine host of the Garter.
Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him,
that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O,
my husband saw this letter! it would give
eternal food to his jealousy.
Copyright: All texts on Bibliomania are © Bibliomania.com Ltd,
and may not be reproduced in any form without our written permission.
See our FAQ for more details.