Act 2 - Scene 3
The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.
Enter THERSITES, solus
How now, Thersites! what lost in the labyrinth of
thy fury! Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? He
me, and I rail at him: O, worthy satisfaction!
would it were otherwise; that I could beat him,
whilst he railed
at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to
conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of
my spiteful execrations. Then
there's Achilles, a
rare enginer! If Troy be not taken till these two
undermine it, the walls will stand till they
themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus,
forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods
Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy
caduceus, if ye take not that little, little less
than little wit
from them that they have! which
short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant
scarce, it will not in
circumvention deliver a fly
from a spider, without drawing their massy irons and
cutting the web. After this,
the vengeance on the
whole camp! or rather, the bone-ache! for that,
methinks, is the curse dependent
on those that war
for a placket. I have said my prayers and devil Envy
say Amen. What ho! my Lord
Who's there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail.
If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou
wouldst not have slipped out of my contemplation: but
is no matter; thyself upon thyself! The common
curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in
revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and
discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy
till thy death! then if she that lays thee
out says thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and
sworn upon't she
never shrouded any but lazars.
Amen. Where's Achilles?
What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer?
Ay: the heavens hear me!
Thersites, my lord.
Where, where? Art thou come? why, my cheese, my
digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to
table so many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon?
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