Act 1 - Scene 2
London. A street.
Enter FALSTAFF, with his Page bearing his sword and buckler
Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?
He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy
water; but, for the party that owed it, he might
diseases than he knew for.
Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the
brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not
invent anything that tends to laughter, more
than I invent or is invented on me: I am not only
witty in myself,
but the cause that wit is in other
men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that
hath overwhelmed all
her litter but one. If the
prince put thee into my service for any other reason
than to set me off, why then
I have no judgment.
Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn
in my cap than to wait at my
heels. I was never
manned with an agate till now: but I will inset you
neither in gold nor silver, but in vile
send you back again to your master, for a jewel,
the juvenal, the prince your master, whose
not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in
the palm of my hand than he shall get one on
cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is
a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, 'tis
hair amiss yet: he may keep it still at a
face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence
out of it; and yet
he'll be crowing as if he had
writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He
may keep his own grace,
but he's almost out of mine,
I can assure him. What said Master Dombledon about
the satin for my short
cloak and my slops?
He said, sir, you should procure him better
assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his
yours; he liked not the security.
Let him be damned, like the glutton! pray God his
tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally
forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand,
and then stand upon security! The whoreson
do now wear nothing but high shoes, and
bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is
them in honest taking up, then they
must stand upon security. I had as lief they would
put ratsbane in
my mouth as offer to stop it with
security. I looked a' should have sent me two and
twenty yards of satin,
as I am a true knight, and he
sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security;
for he hath the horn of
abundance, and the lightness
of his wife shines through it: and yet cannot he
see, though he have his own
lanthorn to light him.
He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.
I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in
Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the
were manned, horsed, and wived.
Enter the Lord Chief-Justice and Servant
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