Scene I.A Room in Sir Tunbelly Clumsys House.
Enter Miss Hoyden and Nurse.
Nurse. Well, miss, how do you like your husband that is to be?
Miss Hoyd. O Lord, nurse, Im so overjoyed I can scarce contain myself!
Nurse. Oh, but you must have a care of being too fond; for men, nowadays, hate a woman that loves em.
Miss Hoyd. Love him! why, do you think I love him, nurse? Ecod, I would not care if he was hanged, so I were but once married to him. No, that which pleases me is to think what work Ill make when I get to London; for when I am a wife and a lady both, ecod, Ill flaunt it with the best of em. Ay, and I shall have money enough to do so too, nurse.
Nurse. Ah, theres no knowing that, miss; for though these lords have a power of wealth indeed, yet, as I have heard say, they give it all to their sluts and their trulls, who joggle it about in their coaches, with a murrain to em, whilst poor madam sits sighing and wishing, and has not a spare half-crown to buy her a Practice of Piety.
Miss Hoyd. Oh, but for that, dont deceive yourself, nurse; for this I must say of my lord, hes as free as an open house at Christmas; for this very morning he told me I should have six hundred a year to buy pins. Now if he gives me six hundred a year to buy pins, what do you think hell give me to buy petticoats?
Nurse. Ay, my dearest, he deceives thee foully, and hes no better than a rogue for his pains! These Londoners have got a gibberish with em would confound a gipsy. That which they call pin-money, is to buy everything in the versal world, down to their very shoe-knots. Nay, I have heard some folks say that some ladies, if theyll have gallants as they call em, are forced to find them out of their pin-money too.But look, look, if his honour be not coming to you!Now, if I were sure you would behave yourself handsomely, and not disgrace me that have brought you up, Id leave you alone together.
Miss Hoyd. Thats my best nurse; do as youd be done by. Trust us together this once, and if I dont show my breeding, I wish I may never be married, but die an old maid.
Nurse. Well, this once Ill venture you. But if you disparage me
Miss Hoyd. Never fear.
Enter Tom Fashion.
Fash. Your servant, madam; Im glad to find you alone, for I have something of importance to speak to you about.
Miss Hoyd. Sir (my lord, I meant), you may speak to me about what you please, I shall give you a civil answer.
Fash. You give so obliging an one, it encourages me to tell you in a few words what I think, both for your interest and mine. Your father, I suppose you know, has resolved to make me happy in being your husband; and I hope I may obtain your consent to perform what he desires.
Miss Hoyd. Sir, I never disobey my father in anything but eating green gooseberries.
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