Lady Sneer. His real attachment is to Maria or her fortune; but, finding in his brother a favoured rival, he has been obliged to mask his pretensions, and profit by my assistance.
Snake. Yet still I am more puzzled why you should interest yourself in his success.
Lady Sneer. Heavens! how dull you are! Cannot you surmise the weakness which I hitherto, through shame, have concealed even from you? Must I confess that Charlesthat libertine, that extravagant, that bankrupt in fortune and reputationthat he it is for whom I am thus anxious and malicious, and to gain whom I would sacrifice everything?
Snake. Now, indeed, your conduct appears consistent; but how came you and Mr. Surface so confidential?
Lady Sneer. For our mutual interest. I have found him out a long time since. I know him to be artful, selfish, and maliciousin short, a sentimental knave; while with Sir Peter, and indeed with all his acquaintance, he passes for a youthful miracle of prudence, good sense, and benevolence.
Snake. Yes; yet Sir Peter vows he has not his equal in England; and, above all, he praises him as a man of sentiment.
Lady Sneer. True; and with the assistance of his sentiment and hypocrisy he has brought Sir Peter entirely into his interest with regard to Maria; while poor Charles has no friend in the housethough, I fear, he has a powerful one in Marias heart, against whom we must direct our scheme.
Ser. Mr. Surface.
Lady Sneer. Show him up.[Exit Servant.] He generally calls about this time. I dont wonder at people giving him to me for a lover.
Enter Joseph Surface.
Jos. Surface. My dear Lady Sneerwell, how do you do to-day? Mr. Snake, your most obedient.
Lady Sneer. Snake has just been rallying me on our mutual attachment; but I have informed him of our real views. You know how useful he has been to us; and, believe me, the confidence is not ill-placed.
Jos. Surf. Madam, it is impossible for me to suspect a man of Mr. Snakes sensibility and discernment.
Lady Sneer. Well, well, no compliments now; but tell me when you saw your mistress, Mariaor, what is more material to me, your brother.
Jos. Surf. I have not seen either since I left you; but I can inform you that they never meet. Some of your stories have taken a good effect on Maria.
Lady Sneer. Ah, my dear Snake! the merit of this belongs to you. But do your brothers distresses increase?
Jos. Surf. Every hour. I am told he has had another execution in the house yesterday. In short, his dissipation and extravagance exceed anything I have ever heard of.
Lady Sneer. Poor Charles!
Jos. Surf. True, madam; notwithstanding his vices, one cant help feeling for him. Poor Charles! Im sure I wish it were in my power to be of any essential service to him; for the man who does not share in the distresses of a brother, even though merited by his own misconduct, deserves
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