WRITTEN BY MR. GARRICK
A School for Scandal! tell me, I beseech you,
Needs there a school this modish art to teach you?
need of lessons now, the knowing think;
We might as well be taught to eat and drink.
Caused by a dearth
of scandal, should the vapours
Distress our fair oneslet them read the papers;
Their powerful mixtures
such disorders hit;
Crave what you willtheres quantum sufficit.
Lord! cries my Lady Wormwood (who
And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle),
Just risen at noon, all night at cards when
Strong tea and scandalBless me, how refreshing!
Give me the papers, Lisphow bold and
Last night Lord L. [Sips] was caught with Lady D.
For aching heads what charming sal volatile!
If Mrs. B. will still continue flirting,
We hope shell draw, or well undraw the curtain.
pozin public all abuse it,
But, by ourselves [Sips], our praise we cant refuse it.
Now, Lisp, read youthere,
at that dash and star.
Yes, maamA certain Lord had best beware,
Who lives not twenty miles
from Grosvenor Square;
For should he Lady W. find willing,
Wormwood is bitterOh! thats me! the
Throw it behind the fire, and never more
Let that vile paper come within my door.
Thus at our friends
we laugh, who feel the dart;
To reach our feelings, we ourselves must smart.
Is our young bard so young,
to think that he
Can stop the full spring-tide of calumny?
Knows he the world so little, and its trade?
the devils sooner raised than laid.
So strong, so swift, the monster theres no gagging:
head off, still the tongue is wagging.
Proud of your smiles once lavishly bestowd,
Again our young Don
Quixote takes the road;
To show his gratitude he draws his pen,
And seeks his hydra, Scandal, in his
For your applause all perils he would through
Hell fightthats writea cavalliero true,
drop of bloodthats inkis spilt for you.
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