Mrs. Pinch. Truly, I don’t know: but I have not been well since you told me there was a gallant at the play in love with me.

Pinch. Ha!—

Alith. That’s by my example too!

Pinch. Nay, if you are not well, but are so concerned, because a lewd fellow chanced to lie, and say he liked you, you’ll make me sick too.

Mrs. Pinch. Of what sickness?

Pinch. O, of that which is worse than the plague, jealousy.

Mrs. Pinch. Pish, you jeer! I’m sure there’s no such disease in our receipt-book at home.

Pinch. No, thou never met’st with it, poor innocent.—Well, if thou cuckold me, ’twill be my own fault—for cuckolds and bastards are generally makers of their own fortune.


Mrs. Pinch. Well, but pray, bud, let’s go to a play to-night.

Pinch. ’Tis just done, she comes from it. But why are you so eager to see a play?

Mrs. Pinch. Faith, dear, not that I care one pin for their talk there; but I like to look upon the player-men, and would see, if I could, the gallant you say loves me: that’s all, dear bud.

Pinch. Is that all, dear bud?

Alith. This proceeds from my example!

Mrs. Pinch. But if the play be done, let’s go abroad, however, dear bud.

Pinch. Come, have a little patience and thou shalt go into the country on Friday.

Mrs. Pinch. Therefore I would see first some sights to tell my neighbours of. Nay, I will go abroad, that’s once.

Alith. I’m the cause of this desire too!

Pinch. But now I think on’t, who, who was the cause of Horner’s coming to my lodgings to-day? That was you.

Alith. No, you, because you would not let him see your handsome wife out of your lodging.

Mrs. Pinch. Why, O Lord! did the gentleman come hither to see me indeed?

Pinch. No, no.—You are not the cause of that damned question too, Mistress Alithea?—[Aside.] Well, she’s in the right of it. He is in love with my wife—and comes after her—’tis so—but I’ll nip his love in the bud; lest he should follow us into the country, and break his chariot-wheel near our house, on purpose for an excuse to come to’t. But I think I know the town.

Mrs. Pinch. Come, pray, bud, let’s go abroad before ’tis late; for I will go, that’s flat and plain.

Pinch. [aside.] So! the obstinacy already of the town-wife; and I must, whilst she’s here, humour her like one.—[Aloud.] Sister, how shall we do, that she may not be seen or known?

  By PanEris using Melati.

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