still have two or three old friends will grope
“Their way along the mere half-mile of road, (240)
“With staff and lantern on a moonless night
“When one needs talk: they’ll find me, never fear,
“And I’ll find them a flask of the old sort yet!”
Violante said “You chatter like a crow:
“Pompilia tires o’ the tattle, and shall to- bed:
“Do not too much the first day,—somewhat more
“To-morrow, and, the next, begin the cape
“And hood and coat! I have spun wool enough.”
Oh what a happy friendly eve was that!

And, next day, about noon, out Pietro went— (250)
He was so happy and would talk so much,
Until Violante pushed and laughed him forth
Sight-seeing in the cold,—“So much to see
“I’ the churches! Swathe your throat three times!” she cried,
“And, above all, beware the slippery ways,
“And bring us all the news by supper-time!”
He came back late, laid by cloak, staff and hat,
Powdered so thick with snow it made us laugh,
Rolled a great log upon the ash o’ the hearth,
And bade Violante treat us to a flask, (260)
Because he had obeyed her faithfully,
Gone sight-see through the seven, and found no church
To his mind like San Giovanni—“There’s the fold,
“And all the sheep together, big as cats!
“And such a shepherd, half the size of life,
“Starts up and hears the angel”—when, at the door,
A tap: we started up: you know the rest.

Pietro at least had done no harm, I know;
Nor even Violante, so much harm as makes
Such revenge lawful. Certainly she erred— (270)
Did wrong, how shall I dare say otherwise?—
In telling that first falsehood, buying me
From my poor faulty mother at a price,
To pass off upon Pietro as his child:
If one should take my babe, give him a name,
Say he was not Gaetano and my own,
But that some other woman made his mouth
And hands and feet,—how very false were that!
No good could come of that; and all harm did.
Yet if a stranger were to represent (280)
“Needs must you either give your babe to me
“And let me call him mine for ever more,
“Or let your husband get him”—ah, my God,
That were a trial I refuse to face!
Well, just so here: it proved wrong but seemed right
To poor Violante—for there lay, she said,
My poor real dying mother in her rags,
Who put me from her with the life and all,
Poverty, pain, shame and disease at once,
To die the easier by what price I fetched— (290)
Also (I hope) because I should be spared
Sorrow and sin,—why may not that have helped?
My father,—he was no one, any one,—
The worse, the likelier,—call him,—he who came,
Was wicked for his pleasure, went his way,
And left no trace to track by; there remained
Nothing but me, the unnecessary life,
To catch up or let fall,—and yet a thing
She could make happy, be made happy with,
This poor Violante,—who would frown thereat? (300)

Well, God, you see! God plants us where we grow.
It is not that, because a bud is born
At a wild briar’s end, full i’ the wild beast’s way,
We ought to pluck and put it out of reach
On the oak-tree top,—say, “There the bud belongs!”
She thought, moreover, real lies were—lies told
For harm’s sake; whereas this had good at heart,
Good for my mother, good for me, and good
For Pietro who was meant to love a babe,
And needed one to make his life of use, (310)
Receive his house and land when he should die.
Wrong, wrong and always wrong! how plainly wrong!
For see; this fault kept pricking, as faults do,
All the same at her heart,—this falsehood hatched,
She could not let it go nor keep it fast.
She told me so,—the first time I was found
Locked in her arms once more after the pain,
When the nuns let me leave them and go home,
And both of us cried all the cares away,—
This it was set her on to make amends, (320)
This brought about the marriage—simply this!
Do let me speak for her you blame so much!
When Paul, my husband’s brother, found me out,
Heard there was wealth for who should marry me,
So, came and made a speech to ask my hand
For Guido,—she, instead of piercing straight
Through the pretence to the ignoble truth,
Fancied she saw God’s very finger point,
Designate just the time for planting me,
(The wild briar-slip she plucked to love and wear) (330)
In soil where I could strike real root, and grow,
And get to be the thing I called myself:
For, wife and husband are one flesh, God says,
And I, whose parents seemed such and were none,
Should in a husband have a husband now,
Find nothing, this time, but was what it seemed,
—All truth and no confusion any more.
I know she meant all good to me, all pain
To herself,—since how could it be aught but pain,
To give me up, so, from her very breast, (340)
The wilding flower-tree-branch that, all those years,
She had got used to feel for and find fixed?
She meant well: has it been so ill i’ the main?
That is but fair to ask: one cannot judge
Of what has been the ill or well of life,
The day that one is dying—sorrows change
Into not altogether sorrow-like;
I do see strangeness but scarce misery,
Now it is over, and no danger more.
My child is safe; there seems not so much pain. (350)
It comes, most like, that I am just absolved,
Purged of the past, the foul in me, washed fair,—
One cannot both have and not have, you know,—
Being right now, I am happy and colour things.
Yes, every body that leaves life sees all
Softened

  By PanEris using Melati.

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