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She added words soon to looks. I did respect, I did admire, I did like you, she saidyes, as much as if you were my brother; and youyou want to make a speculation of me! You would immolate me to that millyour Moloch! I had the common-sense to abstain from any word of excuse, any attempt at palliation. I stood to be scorned. Sold to the devil for the time being, I was certainly infatuated. When I did speak, what do you think I said? Whatever my own feelings were, I was persuaded you loved me, Miss Keeldar. Beautiful, was it not? She sat quite confounded. Is it Robert Moore that speaks? I heard her mutter. Is it a man, or something lower? Do you mean, she asked alouddo you mean you thought I loved you as we love those we wish to marry? It was my meaning, and I said so. You conceived an idea obnoxious to a womans feelings, was her answer; you have announced it in a fashion revolting to a womans soul. You insinuate that all the frank kindness I have shown you has been a complicated, a bold, and an immodest manuvre to ensnare a husband. You imply that at last you come here out of pity to offer me your hand because I have courted you. Let me say this: Your sight is jaundiced: you have seen wrong; your mind is warped: you have judged wrong; your tongue betrays you: you now speak wrong. I never loved yoube at rest there. My heart is as pure of passion for you as yours is barren of affection for me. I hope I was answered, Yorke? I seem to be a blind, besotted sort of person, was my remark. Loved you! she cried. Why, I have been as frank with you as a sisternever shunned you, never feared you. You cannot, she affirmed triumphantly you cannot make me tremble with your coming, nor accelerate my pulse by your influence. I alleged that often, when she spoke to me, she blushed, and that the sound of my name moved her. Not for your sake, she declared briefly. I urged explanation, but could get none. When I sat beside you at the school-feast, did you think I loved you then? When I stopped you in Maythorn Lane, did you think I loved you then? When I called on you in the counting-housewhen I walked with you on the pavementdid you think I loved you then? So she questioned me; and I said I did. By the Lord! Yorke, she roseshe grew tallshe expanded and refined almost to flame; there was a trembling all through her, as in live coal when its vivid vermilion is hottest. That is to say, that you have the worst opinion of me; that you deny me the possession of all I value most. That is to say, that I am a traitor to all my sisters; that I have acted as no woman can act without degrading herself and her sex; that I have sought where the incorrupt of my kind naturally scorn and abhor to seek. She and I were silent for many a minute. Lucifer, star of the morning, she went on, |
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