`"What, for me?" he said, with something like a laugh. "Are we not to be judged according to the deeds done in the body? Where's the use of a probationary existence, if a man may spend it as he pleases, just contrary to God's decrees, and then go to Heaven with the best--if the vilest sinner may win the reward of the holiest saint, by merely saying, "I repent?"

"But if you sincerely repent--"

"I can't repent; I only fear."

`"You only regret the past for its consequences to yourself?"

`"Just so--except that I'm sorry to have wronged you Nell, because you're so good to me."

`"Think of the goodness of God, and you cannot but be grieved to have offended Him."

`"What is God?--I cannot see Him or hear Him.--God is only an idea."

`"God is Infinite Wisdom, and Power, and Goodness--and LOVE; but if this idea is too vast for your human faculties--if your mind loses itself in its overwhelming infinitude, fix it on Him who condescended to take our nature upon Him, who was raised to Heaven even in His glorified human body, in whom the fullness of the godhead shines."

`But he only shook his head and sighed. Then, in another paroxysm of shuddering horror, he tightened his grasp on my hand and arm, and groaning and lamenting, still clung to me with that wild, desperate earnestness so harrowing to my soul, because I know I cannot help him. I did my best to sooth and comfort him.

"Death is so terrible," he cried, "I cannot bear it! You don't know, Helen--you can't imagine what it is, because you haven't it before you; and when I'm buried, you'll return to your old ways and be as happy as ever, and all the world will go on just as busy and merry as if I had never been; while I

He burst into tears.

"You needn't let that distress you," I said; "we shall all follow you soon enough."

`"I wish to God I could take you with me now!" he exclaimed, "you should plead for me."

`"No man can deliver his brother, nor make agreement unto God for him," I replied: "`it cost more to redeem their souls'--it cost the blood of an incarnate God, perfect and sinless in Himself, to redeem us from the bondage of the evil one;--let Him plead for you."

`But I seem to speak in vain. He does not now, as formerly, laugh these blessed truths to scorn: but still he cannot trust, or will not comprehend them. He cannot linger long. He suffers dreadfully, and so do those that wait upon him--But I will not harass you with further details: I have said enough, I think, to convince you that I did well to go to'

Poor, poor Helen! dreadful indeed her trials must have been! And I could do nothing to lessen them-- nay, it almost seemed as if I had brought them upon her myself, by my own secret desires; and whether I looked at her husband's sufferings or her own, it seemed almost like a judgment upon myself for having cherished such a wish.