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Call it what you like: you look at things as they are. AhIve had to. Ive had to look at the Gorgon. Wellit hasnt blinded you! Youve seen that shes just an old bogey like all the others. She doesnt blind one; but she dries up ones tears. The answer checked the pleading on Archers lips: it seemed to come from depths of experience beyond his reach. The slow advance of the ferry-boat had ceased, and her bows bumped against the piles of the slip with a violence that made the brougham stagger, and flung Archer and Madame Olenska against each other. The young man, trembling, felt the pressure of her shoulder, and passed his arm about her. If youre not blind, then, you must see that this cant last. What cant? Our being togetherand not together. No. You ought not to have come today, she said in an altered voice; and suddenly she turned, flung her arms about him and pressed her lips to his. At the same moment the carriage began to move, and a gas-lamp at the head of the slip flashed its light into the window. She drew away, and they sat silent and motionless while the brougham struggled through the congestion of carriages about the ferry-landing. As they gained the street Archer began to speak hurriedly. Dont be afraid of me: you neednt squeeze yourself back into your corner like that. A stolen kiss isnt what I want. Look: Im not even trying to touch the sleeve of your jacket. Dont suppose that I dont understand your reasons for not wanting to let this feeling between us dwindle into an ordinary hole-and-corner love-affair. I couldnt have spoken like this yesterday, because when weve been apart, and Im looking forward to seeing you, every thought is burnt up in a great flame. But then you come; and youre so much more than I remembered, and what I want of you is so much more than an hour or two every now and then, with wastes of thirsty waiting between, that I can sit perfectly still beside you, like this, with that other vision in my mind, just quietly trusting to it to come true. For a moment she made no reply; then she asked, hardly above a whisper: What do you mean by trusting to it to come true? Whyyou know it will, dont you? Your vision of you and me together? She burst into a sudden hard laugh. You choose your place well to put it to me! Do you mean because were in my wifes brougham? Shall we get out and walk, then? I dont suppose you mind a little snow? She laughed again, more gently. No; I shant get out and walk, because my business is to get to Grannys as quickly as I can. And youll sit beside me, and well look, not at visions, but at realities. I dont know what you mean by realities. The only reality to me is this. She met the words with a long silence, during which the carriage rolled down an obscure side-street and then turned into the searching illumination of Fifth Avenue. Is it your idea, then, that I should live with you as your mistresssince I cant be your wife? she asked. |
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