firm of Hulker, Bullock & Bullock; but hers was a most respectable attachment, and she would have taken
Bullock Senior just the same, her mind being fixedas that of a well-bred young woman should beupon
a house in Park Lane, a country house at Wimbledon, a handsome chariot, and two prodigious
tall horses and footmen, and a fourth of the annual profits of the eminent firm of Hulker & Bullock, all of
which advantages were represented in the person of Frederick Augustus. Had orange blossoms been
invented then (those touching emblems of female purity imported by us from France, where peoples
daughters are universally sold in marriage), Miss Maria, I say, would have assumed the spotless wreath,
and stepped into the travelling carriage by the side of gouty, old, bald- headed, bottle-nosed Bullock
Senior; and devoted her beautiful existence to his happiness with perfect modesty only the old gentleman
was married already; so she bestowed her young affections on the junior partner. Sweet, blooming, orange
flowers! The other day I saw Miss Trotter (that was), arrayed in them, trip into the travelling carriage at
St. Georges, Hanover Square, and Lord Methuselah hobbled in after. With what an engaging modesty
she pulled down the blinds of the chariotthe dear innocent! There were half the carriages of Vanity
Fair at the wedding. This was not the sort of love that finished Amelias education; and in the course of a
year turned a good young girl into a good young womanto be a good wife presently, when the happy
time should come. This young person (perhaps it was very imprudent in her parents to encourage her,
and abet her in such idolatry and silly romantic ideas) loved, with all her heart, the young officer in His
Majestys service with whom we have made a brief acquaintance. She thought about him the very first
moment on waking; and his was the very last name mentioned m her prayers. She never had seen a
man so beautiful or so clever: such a figure on horseback: such a dancer: such a hero in general. Talk of
the Princes bow! what was it to Georges? She had seen Mr. Brummell, whom everybody praised so.
Compare such a person as that to her George! Not amongst all the beaux at the Opera (and there were
beaux in those days with actual opera hats) was there any one to equal him. He was only good enough
to be a fairy prince; and oh, what magnanimity to stoop to such a humble Cinderella! Miss Pinkerton
would have tried to check this blind devotion very likely, had she been Amelias confidante; but not with
much success, depend upon it. It is in the nature and instinct of some women. Some are made to scheme,
and some to love; and I wish any respected bachelor that reads this may take the sort that best likes
him. While under this overpowering impression, Miss Amelia neglected her twelve dear friends at Chiswick
most cruelly, as such selfish people commonly will do. She had but this subject, of course, to think about; and
Miss Saltire was too cold for a confidante, and she couldnt bring her mind to tell Miss Swartz, the woolly-
haired young heiress from St. Kitts. She had little Laura Martin home for the holidays; and my belief is,
she made a confidante of her, and promised that Laura should come and live with her when she was
married, and gave Laura a great deal of information regarding the passion of love, which must have
been singularly useful and novel to that little person. Alas, alas! I fear poor Emmy had not a well-regulated
mind. What were her parents doing, not to keep this little heart from beating so fast? Old Sedley did
not seem much to notice matters. He was graver of late, and his City affairs absorbed him. Mrs. Sedley
was of so easy and uninquisitive a nature that she wasnt even jealous. Mr. Jos was away, being besieged
by an Irish widow at Cheltenham. Amelia had the house to herselfah! too much to herself sometimesnot
that she ever doubted; for, to be sure, George must be at the Horse Guards; and he cant always
get leave from Chatham; and he must see his friends and sisters, and mingle in society when in town
(he, such an ornament to every society!); and when he is with the regiment, he is too tired to write long
letters. I know where she kept that packet she hadand can steal in and out of her chamber like Iachimolike
Iachimo? Nothat is a bad part. I will only act Moonshine, and peep harmless into the bed where
faith and beauty and innocence lie dreaming. But if Osbornes were short and soldierlike letters, it must
be confessed, that were Miss Sedleys letters to Mr. Osborne to be published, we should have to extend
this novel to such a multiplicity of volumes as not the most sentimental reader could support; that she
not only filled sheets of large paper, but crossed them with the most astonishing perverseness; that she
wrote whole pages out of poetry-books without the least pity; that she underlined words and passages
with quite a frantic emphasis; and, in fine, gave the usual tokens of her condition. She wasnt a heroine.
Her letters were full of repetition. She wrote rather doubtful grammar sometimes, and in her verses
took all sorts of liberties with the metre. But oh, mesdames, if you are not allowed to touch the heart
sometimes in spite of syntax, and are not to be loved until you all know the difference between trimeter
and tetrameter, may all Poetry go to the deuce, and every schoolmaster perish miserably!