`My lord, you scornfully bade me claim your daughter when I could boast as high a name and vast a
fortune as the Count Antonio. I can do more; for even your ambitious soul cannot refuse the Earl of
Devereux and De Vere, when he gives his ancient name and boundless wealth in return for the beloved
hand of this fair lady now my wife.'
The count stood like one changed to stone; and, turning to the bewildered crowd, Ferdinand added, with
a gay smile of triumph,
"To you, my gallant friends, I can only wish that your wooing may prosper as mine has done; and that
you may all win as fair a bride as I have by this masked marriage."
Why is the P.C. like the Tower of Babel? It is full of unruly members.
THE HISTORY OF A SQUASH.
Once upon a time a farmer planted a little seed in his garden, and after a while it sprouted and became
a vine, and bore many squashes. One day in October, when they were ripe, he picked one and took it
to market. A grocerman bought and put it in his shop. That same morning, a little girl, in a brown hat
and blue dress, with a round face and a snub nose, went and bought it for her mother. She lugged it
home, cut it up, and boiled it in the big pot; mashed some of it, with salt and butter, for dinner; and to
the rest she added a pint of milk, two eggs, four spoons of sugar, nutmeg, and some crackers; put it in
a deep dish, and baked it till it was brown and nice; and next day it was eaten by a family named March.
MR PICKWICK, Sir:--
I address you upon the subject of sin the sinner I mean is a man named Winkle who makes trouble in
his club by laughing and sometimes won't write his piece in this fine paper I hope you will pardon his
badness and let him send a French fable because he can't write out of his head as he has so many
lessons to do and no brains in future I will try to take time by the fetlock and prepare some work which
will be all commy la fo that means all right I am in haste as it is nearly school time. Yours respectably,
[The above is a manly and handsome acknowledgement of past misdemeanours. If our young friend
studied punctuation, it would be well.]
A SAD ACCIDENT
On Friday last we were startled by a violent shock in our basement, followed by cries of distress. On
rushing, in a body, to the cellar, we discovered our beloved President prostrate on the floor, having tripped
and fallen while getting wood for domestic purposes. A perfect scene of ruin met our eyes; for in his fall
Mr Pickwick had plunged his head and shoulders into a tub of water, upset a keg of soft soap upon his
manly form, and torn his garments badly. On being removed from his perilous situation, it was discovered
that he had suffered no injury but several bruises; and, we are happy to add, is now doing well. ED.
The Public Bereavement.
It is our painful duty to record the sudden and mysterious disappearance of our cherished friend, Mrs
Snowball Pat Paw. This lovely and beloved cat was the pet of a large circle of warm and admiring friends; for
her beauty attracted all eyes, her grace and virtues endeared her to all hearts, and her loss is deeply
felt by the whole community.