We now went to bed for the second time; and before I got up, my uncle had visited Lismahago in the green room, and used such arguments with him that when we met in the parlour he seemed to be quite appeased. He received the knight’s apology with a good grace, and even professed himself pleased at finding he had contributed to the diversion of the company. Sir Thomas shook him by the hand, laughing heartily; and then desired a pinch of snuff, in token of perfect reconciliation. The lieutenant, putting his hand in his waistcoat pocket, pulled out, instead of his own Scotch mull, a very fine gold snuff-box, which he no sooner perceived than he said, ‘Here is a small mistake.’ ‘No mistake at all (cried the baronet): a fair exchange is no robbery. Oblige me so far, captain, as to let me keep your mull as a memorial.’ ‘Sir (said the lieutenant) the mull is much at your service; but this machine I can by no means retain. It looks like compounding a sort of felony in the code of honour. Besides, I don’t know but there may be another joke in this conveyance: and I don’t find myself disposed to be brought upon the stage again. I won’t presume to make free with your pockets, but I beg you will put it up again with your own hand.’ So saying, with a certain austerity of aspect, he presented the snuff-box to the knight, who received it in some confusion, and restored the mull, which he would by no means keep, except on the terms of exchange.

This transaction was like to give a grave cast to the conversation, when my uncle took notice that Mr. Justice Frogmore had not made his appearance either at the night-alarm, nor now at the general rendezvous. The baronet hearing Frogmore mentioned. ‘Odso! (cried he) I had forgot the justice. Prithee, doctor, go and bring him out of his kennel.’ Then laughing till his sides were well shaken, he said he would shew the captain, that he was not the only person of the drama exhibited for the entertainment of the company. As to the night-scene, it could not affect the justice, who had been purposely lodged in the farther end of the house, remote from the noise, and lulled with a dose of opium into the bargain. In a few minutes, Mr. Justice was led into the parlour in his night-cap and loose morning gown, rolling his head from side to side, and groaning piteously all the way. ‘Jesu! neighbour Frogmore (exclaimed the baronet), what is the matter? you look as if you was not a man for this world. Set him down softly on the couch—poor gentleman! Lord have mercy upon us! What makes him so pale, and yellow, and bloated?’ ‘Oh, sir Thomas (cried the justice), I doubt ’tis all over with me! Those mushrooms I eat at your table have done my business—ah! oh! hey! ‘Now the Lord forbid! (said the other) What! man, have a good heart. How does thy stomach feel?—hah?’

To this interrogation he made no reply, but throwing aside his night-gown, discovered that his waistcoat would not meet upon his belly by five good inches at least. ‘Heaven protect us all (cried sir Thomas); what a melancholy spectacle! Never did I see a man so suddenly swelled, but when he was either just dead, or just dying. Doctor, canst thou do nothing for this poor object?’ ‘I don’t think the case is quite desperate (said the surgeon), but I would advise Mr. Frogmore to settle his affairs with all expedition; the parson may come and pray by him, while I prepare a glyster and an emetic draught.’ The justice, rolling his languid eyes, ejaculated with great fervency, ‘Lord, have mercy upon us! Christ, have mercy upon us!’ Then he begged the surgeon, in the name of God, to dispatch. ‘As for my worldly affairs (said he), they are all settled but one mortgage, which must be left to my heirs; but my poor soul! my poor soul! what will become of my poor soul? miserable sinner that I am!’ ‘Nay, prithee, my dear boy, compose thyself (resumed the knight); consider the mercy of heaven is infinite; thou canst not have any sins of a very deep dye on thy conscience, or the devil’s in ’t.’ ‘Name not the devil (exclaimed the terrified Frogmore), I have more sins to answer for than the world dreams of. Ah! friend, I have been sly—sly—damn’d sly! Send for the parson without loss of time, and put me to bed, for I am posting to eternity.’ He was accordingly raised from the couch, and supported by two servants, who led him back to his room; but before he quitted the parlour, he entreated the good company to assist him with their prayers. He added, ‘Take warning by me, who am suddenly cut off in my prime, like a flower of the field; and God forgive you, sir Thomas, for suffering such poisonous trash to be eaten at your table.’

He was no sooner removed out of hearing, than the baronet abandoned himself to a violent fit of laughing, in which he was joined by the greatest part of the company; but we could hardly prevent the good lady from going to undeceive the patient, by discovering, that while he slept his waistcoat had been straitened by the contrivance of the surgeon; and that the disorder in his stomach and bowels was occasioned by some antimonial wine, which he had taken over night, under the denomination of plague-water. She