without some opposition on the part of Tabitha, who thought it but reasonable that he should have more
music for his money. Scarce had he settled this knotty point, when a strange kind of thumping and bouncing
was heard right overhead, in the second story, so loud and violent as to shake the whole building. I
own I was exceedingly provoked at this new alarm; and, before my uncle had time to express himself on
the subject, I ran up stairs, to see what was the matter. Finding the room-door open, I entered without
ceremony, and perceived an object, which I cannot now recollect without laughing to excess. It was a
dancing-master, with his scholar, in the act of teaching. The master was blind of one eye, and lame of
one foot, and led about the room his pupil; who seemed to be about the age of three-score, stooped
mortally, was tall, raw-boned, hard-favoured, with a woollen night-cap on his head: and he had stript off
his coat, that he might be more nimble in his motions. Finding himself intruded upon, by a person he
did not know, he forthwith girded himself with a long iron sword, and advancing to me, with a peremptory
air, pronounced, in a true Hibernian accent, Mister What d ye callum, by my saoul and conscience, I
am very glad to sea you, if you are after coming in the way of friendship; and indeed, and indeed now, I
believe you are my friend sure enough, gra; though I never had the honour to sea your face before, my
dear; for becaase you come like a friend, without any ceremony at all, at all. I told him the nature of my
visit would not admit of ceremony; that I was come to desire he would make less noise, as there was a
sick gentleman below, whom he had no right to disturb with such preposterous doings. Why, look-ye
now, young gentleman (replied this original), perhaps, upon another occasion, I might shivilly request
you to explain the maining of that hard word, prepasterous: but theres a time for all things, honey. So
saying, he passed me with great agility, and, running down stairs, found our footman at the dining-room
door, of whom he demanded admittance, to pay his respects to the stranger. As the fellow did not think
proper to refuse the request of such a formidable figure, he was immediately introduced, and addressed
himself to my uncle in these words: Your humble servant, good sir. Im not so prepasterous, as your
son calls it, but I know the rules of shivility. Im a poor knight of Ireland, my name is sir Ulic Mackilligut,
of the county of Galway; being your fellow-lodger, Im come to pay my respects, and to welcome you to
the South Parade, and to offer my best services to you, and your good lady, and your pretty daughter; and
even to the young gentleman your son, though he thinks me a prepasterous fellow. You must know I
am to have the honour to open a ball next door to-morrow with lady Mac Manus; and being rusted in my
dancing, I was refreshing my memory with a little exercise; but if I had known there was a sick person
below, by Christ! I would have sooner danced a hornpipe upon my own head, than walk the softest
minuet over yours. My uncle, who was not a little startled at his first appearance, received his compliment
with great complacency, insisted upon his being seated, thanked him for the honour of his visit, and
reprimanded me for my abrupt expostulation with a gentleman of his rank and character. Thus tutored, I
asked pardon of the knight, who, forthwith starting up, embraced me so close, that I could hardly breathe; and
assured me, he loved me as his own soul. At length, recollecting his night-cap, he pulled it off in some
confusion; and, with his bald-pate uncovered, made a thousand apologies to the ladies, as he retired.
At that instant, the Abbey bells began to ring so loud, that we could not hear one another speak; and this
peal, as we afterwards learned, was for the honour of Mr. Bullock, an eminent cow-keeper of Tottenham,
who had just arrived at Bath, to drink the waters for indigestion. Mr. Bramble had not time to make his
remarks upon the agreeable nature of this serenade, before his ears were saluted with another concert
that interested him more nearly. Two negroes, belonging to a Creole gentleman, who lodged in the same
house, taking their station at a window in the stair-case, about ten feet from our dining-room door, began
to practise upon the French-horn; and being in the very first rudiments of execution, produced such discordant
sounds, as might have discomposed the organs of an ass. You may guess what effect they had upon
the irritable nerves of uncle; who, with the most admirable expression of splenetic surprize in his countenance,
sent his man to silence those dreadful blasts, and desire the musicians to practise in some other place,
as they had no right to stand there and disturb all the lodgers in the house. Those sable performers,
far from taking the hint, and withdrawing, treated the messenger with great insolence; bidding him carry
his compliments to their master, colonel Rigworm, who would give him a proper answer, and a good
drubbing into the bargain; in the mean time they continued their noise, and even endeavoured to make
it more disagreeable; laughing between whiles, at the thoughts of being able to torment their betters
with impunity. Our squire, incensed at the additional insult, immediately dispatched the servant, with his
compliments to colonel Rigworm; requesting that he would order his blacks to be quiet, as the noise they