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If you please, sir; and the private door closed, and Tom went to his study in a state of great trouble of mind. It was almost an hour before East came back: then he rushed in breathless. Well, its all right, he shouted, seizing Tom by the hand. I feel as if a ton weight were off my mind. Hurra, said Tom. I knew it would be; but tell us all about it. Well, I just told him all about it. You cant think how kind and gentle he was, the great grim man, whom Ive feared more than anybody on earth. When I stuck, he lifted me, just as if Id been a little child. And he seemed to know all Id felt, and to have gone through it all. And I burst out cryingmore than Ive done this five years, and he sat down by me, and stroked my head; and I went blundering on, and told him all; much worse things than Ive told you. And he wasnt shocked a bit, and didnt snub me, or tell me I was a fool, and it was all nothing but pride or wickedness, though I dare say it was. And he didnt tell me not to follow out my thoughts, and he didnt give me any cut-and-dried explanation. But when Id done he just talked a bitI can hardly remember what he said, yet; but it seemed to spread round me like healing, and strength, and light; and to bear me up, and plant me on a rock, where I could hold my footing, and fight for myself. I dont know what to do, I feel so happy. And its all owing to you, dear old boy! and he seized Toms hand again. And youre to come to the Communion? said Tom. Yes, and to be confirmed in the holidays. Toms delight was as great as his friends. But he hadnt yet had out all his own talk, and was bent on improving the occasion: so he proceeded to propound Arthurs theory about not being sorry for his friends deaths, which he had hitherto kept in the background, and by which he was much exercised; for he didnt feel it honest to take what pleased him and throw over the rest, and was trying vigorously to persuade himself that he should like all his best friends to die off-hand. But Easts powers of remaining serious were exhausted, and in five minutes he was saying the most ridiculous things he could think of, till Tom was almost getting angry again. Despite of himself, however, he couldnt help laughing and giving it up, when East appealed to him with, Well, Tom, you aint going to punch my head, I hope, because I insist upon being sorry when you got to earth? And so their talk finished for that time, and they tried to learn first lesson; with very poor success, as appeared next morning, when they were called up and narrowly escaped being floored, which ill-luck, however, did not sit heavily on either of their souls. |
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