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Youll gain quite as much as by worrying me to death! Caspar Goodwood bent his eyes again and gazed a while into the crown of his hat. A deep flush overspread his face; she could see her sharpness had at last penetrated. This immediately had a valueclassic, romantic, redeeming, what did she know?for her; the strong man in pain was one of the categories of the human appeal, little charm as he might exert in the given case. Why do you make me say such things to you? she cried in a trembling voice. I only want to be gentleto be thoroughly kind. Its not delightful to me to feel people care for me and yet to have to try and reason them out of it. I think others also ought to be considerate; we have each to judge for ourselves. I know youre considerate, as much as you can be; youve good reasons for what you do. But I really dont want to marry, or to talk about it at all now. I shall probably never do itno, never. Ive a perfect right to feel that way, and its no kindness to a woman to press her so hard, to urge her against her will. If I give you pain I can only say Im very sorry. Its not my fault; I cant marry you simply to please you. I wont say that I shall always remain your friend, because when women say that, in these situations, it passes, I believe, for a sort of mockery. But try me some day. Caspar Goodwood, during this speech, had kept his eyes fixed upon the name of his hatter, and it was not until some time after she had ceased speaking that he raised them. When he did so the sight of a rosy, lovely eagerness in Isabels face threw some confusion into his attempt to analyse her words. Ill go homeIll go tomorrowIll leave you alone, he brought out at last. Only, he heavily said, I hate to lose sight of you! Never fear. I shall do no harm. Youll marry some one else, as sure as I sit here, Caspar Goodwood declared. Do you think that a generous charge? Why not? Plenty of men will try to make you. I told you just now that I dont wish to marry and that I almost certainly never shall. I know you did, and I like your almost certainly! I put no faith in what you say. Thank you very much. Do you accuse me of lying to shake you off? You say very delicate things. Why should I not say that? Youve given me no pledge of anything at all. No, thats all that would be wanting! You may perhaps even believe youre safefrom wishing to be. But youre not, the young man went on as if preparing himself for the worst. Very well then. Well put it that Im not safe. Have it as you please. I dont know however, said Caspar Goodwood, that my keeping you in sight would prevent it. Dont you indeed? Im after all very much afraid of you. Do you think Im so very easily pleased? she asked suddenly, changing her tone. NoI dont; I shall try to console myself with that. But there are a certain number of very dazzling men in the world, no doubt; and if there were only one it would be enough. The most dazzling of all will make straight for you. Youll be sure to take no one who isnt dazzling. If you mean by dazzling brilliantly clever, Isabel saidand I cant imagine what else you meanI dont need the aid of a clever man to teach me how to live. I can find it out for myself. Find out how to live alone? I wish that, when you have, youd teach me! |
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