A new man, or a Bernard wholl decide à la Bernard, for I believe Im a contemptible Bernard myself, said Mitya, with a bitter grin.
But, brother, have you no hope then of being acquitted?
Mitya shrugged his shoulders nervously and shook his head.
Alyosha, darling, its time you were going, he said, with a sudden haste. There the superintendent shouting in the yard. Hell be here directly. We are late; its irregular. Embrace me quickly. Kiss me! Sign me with the cross, darling, for the cross I have to bear to-morrow.
They embraced and kissed.
Ivan, said Mitya suddenly, suggests my escaping; but, of course, he believes I did it.
A mournful smile came on to his lips.
Have you asked him whether he believes it? asked Alyosha.
No, I havent. I wanted to, but I couldnt. I hadnt the courage. But I saw it from his eyes. Well, good- bye!
Once more they kissed hurriedly, and Alyosha was just going out, when Mitya suddenly called him back.
Stand facing me! Thats right! And again he seized Alyosha, putting both hands on his shoulders. His face became suddenly quite pale, so that it was dreadfully apparent, even through the gathering darkness. His lips twitched, his eyes fastened upon Alyosha.
Alyosha, tell me the whole truth, as you would before God. Do you believe I did it? Do you, do you in yourself, believe it? The whole truth, dont lie! he cried desperately.
Everything seemed heaving before Alyosha, and he felt something like a stab at his heart.
Hush! What do you mean? he faltered helplessly.
The whole truth, the whole, dont lie! repeated Mitya.
Ive never for one instant believed that you were the murder! broke in a shaking voice Alyoshas breast, and he raised his right hand in the air, as though calling God to witness his words.
Mityas whole face was lighted up with bliss.
Thank you! he articulated slowly, as though letting a sigh escape him after fainting. Now you have given me new life. Would you believe it, till this moment Ive been afraid to ask you, you, even you. Well, go! Youve given me strength for to-morrow. God bless you! Come, go along! Love Ivan! was Mityas last word.
Alyosha went out in tears. Such distrustfulness in Mitya, such lack of confidence even to him, Alyoshaall this suddenly opened before Alyosha an unsuspected depth of hopeless grief and despair in the soul of his unhappy brother. Intense, infinite compassion overwhelmed him instantly. There was a poignant ache in his torn heart. Love Ivanhe suddenly recalled Mityas words. And he was going to Ivan. He badly wanted to see Ivan all day. He was as much worried about Ivan as about Mitya, and more than ever now.
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