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They urged upon him again that he was exaggerating, that Kalganov was only a little taller, so that only the trousers might be a little too long. But the coat turned out to be really tight in the shoulders. Damn it all! I can hardly button it, Mitya grumbled. Be so good as to tell Mr. Kalganov from me that I didnt ask for his clothes, and its not my doing that theyve dressed me up like a clown. He quite understands that, and is sorry I mean, not sorry to lend you his clothes, but sorry about all this business, mumbled Nikolay Parfenovitch. Confound his sorrow! Well, where now, or am I to go on sitting here? He was asked to go back to the other room. Mitya went in, scowling with anger, and trying to avoid looking at any one. Dressed in another mans clothes he felt himself disgraced, even in the eyes of the peasants, and of Trifon Borissovitch, whose face appeared, for some reason, in the doorway, and vanished immediately. Hes come to look at me dressed up, thought Mitya. He sat down on the same chair as before. He had an absurd nightmarish feeling, as though he were out of his mind. Well, what now? Are you going to flog me? Thats all thats left for you, he said, clenching his teeth and addressing the prosecutor. He would not turn to Nikolay Parfenovitch, as though he disdained to speak to him. He looked too closely at my socks, and turned them inside out on purpose to show every one how dirty they werethe scoundrel! Well, now we must proceed to the examination of witnesses, observed Nikolay Parfenovitch, as though in reply to Mityas question. Yes, said the prosecutor thoughtfully, as though reflecting on something. Weve done what we could in your interest, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, Nikolay Parfenovitch went on, but having received from you such an uncompromising refusal to explain to us the source from which you obtained the money found upon you, we are, at the present moment What is the stone in your ring? Mitya interrupted suddenly, as though awakening from a reverie. He pointed to one of the three large rings adorning Nikolay Parfenovitchs right hand. Ring? repeated Nikolay Parfenovitch with surprise. Yes, that one on your middle finger, with the little veins in it, what stone is that? Mitya persisted, like a peevish child. Thats a smoky topaz, said Nikolay Parfenovitch, smiling. Would you like to look at it? Ill take it off No, dont take it off, cried Mitya furiously, suddenly waking up, and angry with himself. Dont take it off theres no need. Damn it. Gentlemen, youve sullied my heart! Can you suppose that I would conceal it from you, if I really had killed my father, that I would shuffle, lie, and hide myself? No, thats not like Dmitri Karamazov, that he couldnt do, and if I were guilty, I swear I shouldnt have waited for your coming, or for the sunrise as I meant at first, but should have killed myself before this, without waiting for the dawn! I know that about myself now. I couldnt have learnt so much in twenty years as Ive found out in this accursed night! And should I have been like this on this night, and at this moment, sitting with you, could I have talked like this, could I have moved like this, could I have looked at you and at the world like this, if I had really been the murderer of my father, when the very thought of having accidentally killed Grigory gave me no peace all nightnot from fearoh, not simply from fear of your punishment! The disgrace of it! And you expect me to be open with such scoffers as you, who see nothing and believe in nothing, blind moles and scoffers, and to tell you another nasty thing Ive done, another disgrace, even if that would save me from your accusation! No, better Siberia! The man who opened the door to |
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