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Well, Alyosha, its sometimes very unwise to be a Russian at all, but anything stupider than the way Russian boys spend their time one can hardly imagine. But theres one Russian boy called Alyosha I am awfully fond of. How nicely you put that in! Alyosha laughed suddenly. Well, tell me where to begin, give your orders. The existence of God, eh? Begin where you like. You declared yesterday at fathers that there was no God. Alyosha looked searchingly at his brother. I said that yesterday at dinner on purpose to tease you and I saw your eyes glow. But now Ive no objection to discussing with you, and I say so very seriously. I want to be friends with you, Alyosha, for I have no friends and want to try it. Well, only fancy, perhaps I too accept God, laughed Ivan, thats a surprise for you, isnt it? Yes, of course, if you are not joking now. Joking? I was told at the elders yesterday that I was joking. You know, dear boy, there was an old sinner in the eighteenth century who declared that, if there were no God, he would have to be invented. Sil nexistait pas Dieu, il faudrait linventer. And man has actually invented God. And whats strange, what would be marvellous, is not that God should really exist; the marvel is that such an idea, the idea of the necessity of God, could enter the head of such a savage, vicious beast as man. So holy it is, so touching, so wise and so great a credit it does to man. As for me, Ive long resolved not to think whether man created God or God man. And I wont go through all the axioms laid down by Russian boys on that subject, all derived from European hypotheses; for whats a hypothesis there, is an axiom with the Russian boy, and not only with the boys but with their teachers too, for our Russian professors are often just the same boys themselves. And so I omit all the hypotheses. For what are we aiming at now? I am trying to explain as quickly as possible my essential nature, that is what manner of man I am, what I believe in, and for what I hope, thats it, isnt it? And therefore I tell you that I accept God simply. But you must note this: if God exists and if He really did create the world, then, as we all know, He created it according to the geometry of Euclid and the human mind with the conception of only three dimensions in space. Yet there have been and still are geometricians and philosophers, and even some of the most distinguished, who doubt whether the whole universe, or to speak more widely the whole of being, was only created in Euclids geometry; they even dare to dream that two parallel lines, which according to Euclid can never meet on earth, may meet somewhere in infinity. I have come to the conclusion that, since I cant understand even that, I cant expect to understand about God. I acknowledge humbly that I have no faculty for settling such questions, I have a Euclidian earthly mind, and how could I solve problems that are not of this world? And I advise you never to think about it either, my dear Alyosha, especially about God, whether He exists or not. All such questions are utterly inappropriate for a mind created with an idea of only three dimensions. And so I accept God and am glad to, and whats more I accept His wisdom, His purposewhich are utterly beyond our ken; I believe in the underlying order and the meaning of life; I believe in the eternal harmony in which they say we shall one day be blended. I believe in the Word to Which the universe is striving, and Which Itself was with God, and Which Itself is God and so on, and so on, to infinity. There are all sorts of phrases for it. I seem to be on the right path, dont I? Yet would you believe it, in the final result I dont accept this world of Gods, and, although I know it exists, I dont accept it at all. Its not that I dont accept God, you must understand, its the world created by Him I dont and cannot accept. Let me make it plain. I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidian mind of man, that in the worlds finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood theyve shed; that it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify all that has happened with menbut though all that may come to pass, I dont accept it. I wont |
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