|
||||||||
even in a duel, Father, he said, when I grow up, Ill knock him down, knock the sword out of his hand, Ill fall on him, wave my sword over him and say: I could kill you, but I forgive you, so there! You see what the workings of his little mind have been during these two days; he must have been planning that vengeance all day, and raving about it at night. But he began to come home from school badly beaten, I found out about it the day before yesterday, and you are right, I wont send him to that school any more. I heard that he was standing up against all the class alone and defying them all, that his heart was full of resentment, of bitternessI was alarmed about him. We went for another walk. Father, he asked, are the rich people stronger than any one else on earth? Yes, Ilusha, I said, there are no people on earth stronger than the rich. Father, he said, I will get rich, I will become an officer and conquer everybody. The Tsar will reward me, I will come back here and then no one will dare. Then he was silent and his lips still kept trembling, Father, he said, what a horrid town this is. Yes, Ilusha, I said, it isnt a very nice town. Father, let us move into another town, a nice one, he said, where people dont know about us. We will move, we will, Ilusha, said I, only I must save up for it. I was glad to be able to turn his mind from painful thoughts, and we began to dream of how we would move to another town, how we would buy a horse and cart. We will put mamma and your sisters inside, we will cover them up and well walk, you shall have a lift now and then, and Ill walk beside, for we must take care of our horse, we cant all ride. Thats how well go. He was enchanted at that, most of all at the thought of having a horse and driving him. For of course a Russian boy is born among horses. We chattered a long while. Thank God, I thought, I have diverted his mind and comforted him. That was the day before yesterday, in the evening, but last night everything was changed. He had gone to school in the morning, he came back depressed, terribly depressed. In the evening I took him by the hand and we went for a walk; he would not talk. There was a wind blowing and no sun, and a feeling of autumn; twilight was coming on. We walked along, both of us depressed. Well, my boy, said I, how about our setting off on our travels? I thought I might bring him back to our talk of the day before. He didnt answer, but I felt his fingers trembling in my hand. Ah, I thought, its a bad job; theres something fresh. We had reached the stone where we are now. I sat down on the stone. And in the air there were lots of kites flapping and whirling. There were as many as thirty in sight. Of course, its just the season for the kites. Look, Ilusha, said I, its time we got out our last years kite again. Ill mend it, where have you put it away? My boy made no answer. He looked away and turned sideways to me. And then a gust of wind blew up the sand. He suddenly fell on me, threw both his little arms round my neck and held me tight. You know, when children are silent and proud, and try to keep back their tears when they are in great trouble and suddenly break down, their tears fall in streams. With those warm streams of tears, he suddenly wetted my face. He sobbed and shook as though he were in convulsions, and squeezed up against me as I sat on the stone. Father, he kept crying, dear father, how he insulted you! And I sobbed too. We sat shaking in each others arms. Ilusha, I said to him, Ilusha darling. No one saw us then. God alone saw us, I hope he will record it to my credit. You must thank your brother, Alexey Fyodorovitch. No, sir, I wont thrash my boy for your satisfaction. He had gone back to his original tone of resentful buffoonery. Alyosha felt though that he trusted him, and that if there had been some one else in his, Alyoshas place, the man would not have spoken so openly and would not have told what he had just told. This encouraged Alyosha whose heart was trembling on the verge of tears. Ah, how I would like to make friends with your boy! he cried, If you could arrange it Certainly, sir, muttered the captain. But now listen to something quite different! Alyosha went on. I have a message for you. That same brother of mine, Dmitri, has insulted his betrothed, too, a noble-hearted girl of whom you have probably heard. I have a right to tell you of her wrong; I ought to do so, in fact, for hearing of the insult done to you and learning all about your unfortunate position, she commissioned me at oncejust nowto bring |
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
Copyright: All texts on Bibliomania are © Bibliomania.com Ltd, and may not be reproduced in any form without our written permission. See our FAQ for more details. | ||||||||