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But Im not talking about that (though I did hear something). No, Im talking of the way you keep sighing and groaning now. The Schiller in you is in revolt every moment, and now you tell me not to listen at doors. If thats how you feel, go and inform the police that you had this mischance: you made a little mistake in your theory. But if you are convinced that one mustnt listen at doors, but one may murder old women at ones pleasure, youd better be off to America and make haste. Run, young man! There may still be time. Im speaking sincerely. Havent you the money? Ill give you the fare. Im not thinking of that at all, Raskolnikov interrupted with disgust. I understand (but dont put yourself out, dont discuss it if you dont want to). I understand the questions you are worrying over moral ones, arent they? Duties of citizen and man? Lay them all aside. They are nothing to you now, ha-ha! Youll say you are still a man and a citizen. If so you ought not to have got into this coil. Its no use taking up a job you are not fit for. Well, youd better shoot yourself, or dont you want to? You seem trying to enrage me, to make me leave you. What a queer fellow! But here we are. Welcome to the staircase. You see, thats the way to Sofya Semyonovna. Look, there is no one at home. Dont you believe me? Ask Kapernaumov. She leaves the key with him. Here is Madame de Kapernaumov herself. Hey, what? She is rather deaf. Has she gone out? Where? Did you hear? She is not in and wont be till late in the evening probably. Well, come to my room; you wanted to come and see me, didnt you? Here we are. Madame Resslichs not at home. She is a woman who is always busy, an excellent woman I assure you. She might have been of use to you if you had been a little more sensible. Now, see! I take this five-per-cent bond out of the bureausee what a lot Ive got of them stillthis one will be turned into cash to-day. I mustnt waste any more time. The bureau is locked, the flat is locked, and here we are again on the stairs. Shall we take a cab? Im going to the Islands. Would you like a lift? Ill take this carriage. Ah, you refuse? You are tired of it! Come for a drive! I believe it will come on to rain. Never mind, well put down the hood. Svidrigailov was already in the carriage. Raskolnikov decided that his suspicions were at least for that moment unjust. Without answering a word he turned and walked back towards the Hay Market. If he had only turned round on his way he might have seen Svidrigailov get out not a hundred paces off, dismiss the cab and walk along the pavement. But he had turned the corner and could see nothing. Intense disgust drew him away from Svidrigailov. To think that I could for one instant have looked for help from that coarse brute, that depraved sensualist and blackguard! he cried. Raskolnikovs judgment was uttered too lightly and hastily: there was something about Svidrigailov which gave him a certain original, even a mysterious character. As concerned his sister, Raskolnikov was convinced that Svidrigailov would not leave her in peace. But it was too tiresome and unbearable to go on thinking and thinking about this. When he was alone, he had not gone twenty paces before he sank, as usual, into deep thought. On the bridge he stood by the railing and began gazing at the water. And his sister was standing close by him. He met her at the entrance to the bridge, but passed by without seeing her. Dounia had never met him like this in the street before and was struck with dismay. She stood still and did not know whether to call to him or not. Suddenly she saw Svidrigailov coming quickly from the direction of the Hay Market. He seemed to be approaching cautiously. He did not go on to the bridge, but stood aside on the pavement, doing all he could to avoid Raskolnikovs seeing him. He had observed Dounia for some time and had been making signs to her. She fancied he was signalling to beg her not to speak to her brother, but to come to him. |
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