we couldnt let her come alone all the way. We kept begging her to be calm. We came in, you werent here; she sat down, and stayed ten minutes, while we stood waiting in silence. She got up and said: If hes gone out, that is, if he is well, and has forgotten his mother, its humiliating and unseemly for his mother to stand at his door begging for kindness. She returned home and took to her bed; now she is in a fever. I see, she said, that he has time for his girl. She means by your girl Sofya Semyonovna, your betrothed or your mistress, I dont know. I went at once to Sofya Semyonovnas, for I wanted to know what was going on. I looked round, I saw the coffin, the children crying, and Sofya Semyonovna trying them on mourning dresses. No sign of you. I apologised, came away, and reported to Avdotya Romanovna. So thats all nonsense and you havent got a girl; the most likely thing is that you are mad. But here you sit, guzzling boiled beef as though youd not had a bite for three days. Though as far as that goes, madmen eat too, but though you have not said a word to me yet you are not mad! That Id swear! Above all, you are not mad! So you may go to hell, all of you, for theres some mystery, some secret about it, and I dont intend to worry my brains over your secrets. So Ive simply come to swear at you, he finished, getting up, to relieve my mind. And I know what to do now.
What do you mean to do now?
What business is it of yours what I mean to do?
You are going in for a drinking bout.
How how did you know?
Why, its pretty plain.
Razumihin paused for a minute.
You always have been a very rational person and youve never been mad, never, he observed suddenly with warmth. Youre right: I shall drink. Good-bye!
And he moved to go out.
I was talking with my sisterthe day before yesterday, I think it wasabout you, Razumihin.
About me! But where can you have seen her the day before yesterday? Razumihin stopped short and even turned a little pale.
One could see that his heart was throbbing slowly and violently.
She came here by herself, sat there and talked to me.
What did you say to her I mean, about me?
I told her you were a very good, honest, and industrious man. I didnt tell her you love her, because she knows that herself.
She knows that herself?
Well, its pretty plain. Wherever I might go, whatever happened to me, you would remain to look after them. I, so to speak, give them into your keeping, Razumihin. I say this because I know quite well how you love her, and am convinced of the purity of your heart. I know that she too may love you and perhaps
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