Never mind. Good-bye.
He turned away, and walked to the window. She stood a moment, looked at him uneasily, and went out troubled.
No, he was not cold to her. There was an instant (the very last one) when he had longed to take her in his arms and say good-bye to her, and even to tell her, but he had not dared even to touch her hand.
Afterwards she may shudder when she remembers that I embraced her, and will feel that I stole her kiss.
And would she stand that test? he went on a few minutes later to himself. No, she wouldnt; girls like that cant stand things! They never do.
And he thought of Sonia.
There was a breath of fresh air from the window. The daylight was fading. He took up his cap and went out.
He could not, of course, and would not consider how ill he was. But all this continual anxiety and agony of mind could not but affect him. And if he were not lying in high fever it was perhaps just because this continual inner strain helped to keep him on his legs and in possession of his faculties. But this artificial excitement could not last long.
He wandered aimlessly. The sun was setting. A special form of misery had begun to oppress him of late. There was nothing poignant, nothing acute about it; but there was a feeling of permanence, of eternity about it; it brought a foretaste of hopeless years of this cold leaden misery, a foretaste of an eternity on a square yard of space. Towards evening this sensation usually began to weigh on him more heavily.
With this idiotic, purely physical weakness, depending on the sunset or something, one cant help doing something stupid! Youll go to Dounia, as well as to Sonia, he muttered bitterly.
He heard his name called. He looked round. Lebeziatnikov rushed up to him.
Only fancy, Ive been to your room looking for you. Only fancy, shes carried out her plan, and taken away the children. Sofya Semyonovna and I have had a job to find them. She is rapping on a frying- pan and making the children dance. The children are crying. They keep stopping at the cross-roads and in front of shops; theres a crowd of fools running after them. Come along!
And Sonia? Raskolnikov asked anxiously, hurrying after Lebeziatnikov.
Simply frantic. That is, its not Sofya Semyonovnas frantic, but Katerina Ivanovna, though Sofya Semyonovas frantic too. But Katerina Ivanovna is absolutely frantic. I tell you she is quite mad. Theyll be taken to the police. You can fancy what an effect that will have. They are on the canal bank, near the bridge now, not far from Sofya Semyonovnas, quite close.
On the canal bank near the bridge and not two houses away from the one where Sonia lodged, there was a crowd of people, consisting principally of gutter children. The hoarse broken voice of Katerina Ivanovna could be heard from the bridge, and it certainly was a strange spectacle likely to attract a street crowd. Katerina Ivanovna in her old dress with the green shawl, wearing a torn straw hat, crushed in a hideous way on one side, was really frantic. She was exhausted and breathless. Her wasted consumptive face looked more suffering than ever, and indeed out of doors in the sunshine a consumptive always looks worse than at home. But her excitement did not flag, and every moment her irritation grew more intense. She rushed at the children, shouted at them, coaxed them, told them before the crowd how to dance and what to sing, began explaining to them why it was necessary, and driven to desperation by their not understanding, beat them. Then she would make a rush at the crowd; if she noticed any
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