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to argue! They talk such trash! I almost came to blows! Ive left my uncle to preside. Would you believe, they insist on complete absence of individualism and thats just what they relish! Not to be themselves, to be as unlike themselves as they can. Thats what they regard as the highest point of progress. If only their nonsense were their own, but as it is Listen! Pulcheria Alexandrovna interrupted timidly, but it only added fuel to the flames. What do you think? shouted Razumihin, louder than ever, you think I am attacking them for talking nonsense? Not a bit! I like them to talk nonsense. Thats mans one privilege over all creation. Through error you come to the truth! I am a man because I err! You never reach any truth without making fourteen mistakes and very likely a hundred and fourteen. And a fine thing, too, in its way; but we cant even make mistakes on our own account! Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and Ill kiss you for it. To go wrong in ones own way is better than to go right in someone elses. In the first case you are a man, in the second youre no better than a bird. Truth wont escape you, but life can be cramped. There have been examples. And what are we doing now? In science, development, thought, invention, ideals, aims, liberalism, judgment, experience and everything, everything, everything, we are still in the preparatory class at school. We prefer to live on other peoples ideas, its what we are used to! Am I right, am I right? cried Razumihin, pressing and shaking the two ladies hands. Oh, mercy, I do not know, cried poor Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Yes, yes though I dont agree with you in everything, added Avdotya Romanovna earnestly and at once uttered a cry, for he squeezed her hand so painfully. Yes, you say yes well after that you you he cried in a transport, you are a fount of goodness, purity, sense and perfection. Give me your hand you give me yours, too! I want to kiss your hands here at once, on my knees and he fell on his knees on the pavement, fortunately at that time deserted. Leave off, I entreat you, what are you doing? Pulcheria Alexandrovna cried, greatly distressed. Get up, get up! said Dounia laughing, though she, too, was upset. Not for anything till you let me kiss your hands! Thats it! Enough! I get up and well go on! I am a luckless fool, I am unworthy of you and drunk and I am ashamed. I am not worthy to love you, but to do homage to you is the duty of every man who is not a perfect beast! And Ive done homage. Here are your lodgings, and for that alone Rodya was right in driving your Pyotr Petrovitch away. How dare he! how dare he put you in such lodgings! Its a scandal! Do you know the sort of people they take in here? And you his betrothed! You are his betrothed? Yes? Well, then, Ill tell you, your fiance is a scoundrel. Excuse me, Mr. Razumihin, you are forgetting Pulcheria Alexandrovna was beginning. Yes, yes, you are right, I did forget myself, I am ashamed of it, Razumihin made haste to apologise. But but you cant be angry with me for speaking so! For I speak sincerely and not because hm, hm! That would be disgraceful; in fact not because Im in hm! Well, anyway, I wont say why, I darent. But we all saw to-day when he came in that that man is not of our sort. Not because he had his hair curled at the barbers, not because he was in such a hurry to show his wit, but because he is a spy, a speculator, because he is a skin-flint and a buffoon. Thats evident. Do you think him clever? No, he is a fool, a fool. And is he a match for you? Good heavens! Do you see, ladies? he stopped suddenly on the way upstairs to their rooms, though all my friends there are drunk, yet they are all honest, and though we do talk a lot of trash, and I do, too, yet we shall talk our way to the truth at last, for we are on the right path, while Pyotr Petrovitch is not on the right path. Though Ive been calling them all sorts of names just now, I do respect them all though I dont respect Zametov, I like him, for he is a puppy, and that bullock Zossimov, because he is an honest man and knows his work. But enough, its all said and forgiven. Is it forgiven? Well, then, lets go on. I know this corridor, Ive been here, there was a scandal here at |
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