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[Long argument between Harris and Harriss friend as to what Harris is really singing. Friend finally suggests that it doesnt matter what Harris is singing so long as Harris gets on and sings it, and Harris with an evident sense of injustice rankling inside him, requests pianist to begin again. Pianist, thereupon, starts prelude to the Admirals song, and Harris, seizing what he considers to be a favourable opening in the music, begins.] Harris:
[General roar of laughter, taken by Harris as a compliment. Pianist, thinking of his wife and family, gives up the unequal contest and retires; his place being taken by a stronger-nerved man.] The New Pianist (cheerily): Now then, old man, you start off, and Ill follow. We wont bother about any prelude. Harris (upon whom the explanation of matters has slowly dawnedlaughing): By Jove! I beg your pardon. Of courseIve been mixing up the two songs. It was Jenkins who confused me, you know. Now then. [Singing; his voice appearing to come from the cellar, and suggesting the first low warnings of an approaching earthquake.]
(Aside to pianist): It is too low, old man; well have that over again, if you dont mind. [Sings first two lines over again, in a high falsetto this time. Great surprise on the part of the audience. Nervous old lady near the fire begins to cry, and has to be led out.] Harris (continuing):
Nono, I cleaned the windows of the big front door. And I polished up the floorno, dash itI beg your pardonfunny thing, I cant think of that line. And Iand IOh, well, well get on to the chorus, and chance it (sings):
Now then, chorusits the last two lines repeated, you know. General Chorus:
And Harris never sees what an ass he is making of himself, and how he is annoying a lot of people who never did him any harm. He honestly imagines that he has given them a treat, and says he will sing another comic song after supper. Speaking of comic songs and parties, reminds me of a rather curious incident at which I once assisted; which, as it throws much light upon the inner mental working of human nature in general, ought, I think, to be recorded in these pages. We were a fashionable and highly cultured party. We had on our best clothes, and we talked pretty, and were very happyall except two young fellows, students just returned from Germany, commonplace young men, who seemed restless and uncomfortable, as if they found the proceedings slow. The truth |
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