The sarcastic tone of this reply might have provoked a rather acrimonious retort from Miss Squeers, who, besides being of a constitutionally vicious temper -- aggravated, just now, by travel and recent jolting -- was somewhat irritated by old recollections and the failure of her own designs upon Mr Browdie; and the acrimonious retort might have led to a great many other retorts, which might have led to Heaven knows what, if the subject of conversation had not been, at that precise moment, accidentally changed by Mr Squeers himself

`What do you think?' said that gentleman; `who do you suppose we have laid hands on, Wackford and me?'

`Pa! not Mr --?' Miss Squeers was unable to finish the sentence, but Mrs Browdie did it for her, and added, `Nickleby?'

`No,' said Squeers. `But next door to him though.'

`You can't mean Smike?' cried Miss Squeers, clapping her hands.

`Yes, I can though,' rejoined her father. `I've got him, hard and fast.'

`Wa'at!' exclaimed John Browdie, pushing away his plate. `Got that poor -- dom'd scoondrel, -- where?'

`Why, in the top back-room, at my lodging,' replied Squeers, `with him on one side, and the key on the other.'

`At thy loodgin'! Thee'st gotten him at thy loodgin'? Ho! ho! The schoolmeasther agin all England. Give us thee hond, mun; -- I'm darned but I must shak thee by the hond for thot. -- Gotten him at thy loodgin'?'

`Yes,' replied Squeers, staggering in his chair under the congratulatory blow on the chest which the stout Yorkshireman dealt him -- `thankee. Don't do it again. You mean it kindly, I know --, but it hurts rather -- yes, there he is. That's not so bad, is it?'

`Ba'ad!' repeated John Browdie. `It's eneaf to scare a mun to hear tell on.'

`I thought it would surprise you a bit,' said Squeers, rubbing his hands. `It was pretty neatly done, and pretty quick too.'

`Hoo wor it?' inquired John, sitting down close to him. `Tell us all aboot it, mun; coom, quick!'

Although he could not keep pace with John Browdie's impatience, Mr Squeers related the lucky chance by which Smike had fallen into his hands, as quickly as he could, and, except when he was interrupted by the admiring remarks of his auditors, paused not in the recital until he had brought it to an end.

`For fear he should give me the slip, by any chance,' observed Squeers, when he had finished, looking very cunning, `I've taken three outsides for tomorrow morning -- for Wackford and him and me -- and have arranged to leave the accounts and the new boys to the agent, don't you see? So it's very lucky you come today, or you'd have missed us; and as it is, unless you could come and tea with me tonight, we shan't see anything more of you before we go away.'

`Dean't say anoother wurd,' returned the Yorkshireman, shaking him by the hand. `We'd coom, if it was twonty mile.'

`No, would you though?' returned Mr Squeers, who had not expected quite such a ready acceptance of his invitation, or he would have considered twice before he gave it.