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and as the poor child took so lovingly to me, I think I should feel jealous of calling another child by it. I think I should feel as if the name had become endeared to me, and I had no right to use it so. And thats your opinion? remarked Mr Boffin, observant of the Secretarys face and again addressing him. I say again, it is a matter of feeling, returned the Secretary. I think Miss Wilfers feeling very womanly and pretty. Now, give us your opinion, Noddy, said Mrs Boffin. My opinion, old lady, returned the Golden Dustman, is your opinion. Then, said Mrs Boffin, we agree not to revive John Harmons name, but to let it rest in the grave. It is, as Mr Rokesmith says, a matter of feeling, but Lor how many matters are matters of feeling! Well; and so I come to the second thing I have thought of. You must know, Bella, my dear, and Mr Rokesmith, that when I first named to my husband my thoughts of adopting a little orphan boy in remembrance of John Harmon, I further named to my husband that it was comforting to think that how the poor boy would be benefited by Johns own money, and protected from Johns own forlornness. Hear, hear! cried Mr Boffin. So she did. Ancoar! No, not Ancoar, Noddy, my dear, returned Mrs Boffin, because I am going to say something else. I meant that, I am sure, as I much as I still mean it. But this little death has made me ask myself the question, seriously, whether I wasnt too bent upon pleasing myself. Else why did I seek out so much for a pretty child, and a child quite to my liking? Wanting to do good, why not do it for its own sake, and put my tastes and likings by? Perhaps, said Bella; and perhaps she said it with some little sensitiveness arising out of those old curious relations of hers towards the murdered man; perhaps, in reviving the name, you would not have liked to give it to a less interesting child than the original. He interested you very much. Well, my dear, returned Mrs Boffin, giving her a squeeze, its kind of you to find that reason out, and I hope it may have been so, and indeed to a certain extent I believe it was so, but I am afraid not to the whole extent. However, that dont come in question now, because we have done with the name. Laid it up as a remembrance, suggested Bella, musingly. Much better said, my dear; laid it up as a remembrance. Well then; I have been thinking if I take any orphan to provide for, let it not be a pet and a plaything for me, but a creature to be helped for its own sake. Not pretty then? said Bella. No, returned Mrs Boffin, stoutly. Nor prepossessing then? said Bella. No, returned Mrs Boffin. Not necessarily so. Thats as it may happen. A well-disposed boy comes in my way who may be even a little wanting in such advantages for getting on in life, but is honest and industrious and requires a helping hand and deserves it. If I am very much in earnest and quite determined to be unselfish, let me take care of him. Here the footman whose feelings had been hurt on the former occasion, appeared, and crossing to Rokesmith apologetically announced the objectionable Sloppy. |
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