As Mr. Weller exhibited in this place unequivocal symptoms of an approaching fit of chuckling, Sam interposed to stop it.
"Keep quiet, do," said Sam, "there never vos such a old picter-card born. Wot are you bustin' vith, now?"
"Sammy," said Mr. Weller, wiping his forehead, "I'm afeerd that vun o' these days I shall laugh myself into a appleplexy, my boy."
"Vell, then, wot do you do it for?" said Sam. "Now; wot have you got to say?"
"Who do you think's come here with me, Samivel?" said Mr. Weller, drawing back a pace or two, pursing up his mouth, and extending his eyebrows.
"Pell?" said Sam.
Mr. Weller shook his head, and his red cheek expanded with the laughter that was endeavouring to find a vent.
"Mottled-faced man, p'r'aps?" suggested Sam.
Again Mr. Weller shook his head.
"Who then?" asked Sam.
"Your mother-in-law," said Mr. Weller; and it was lucky he did say it, or his cheeks must inevitably have cracked, from their most unnatural distension.
"Your mother-in-law, Sammy," said Mr. Weller, "and the red-nosed man, my boy; and the red-nosed man. Ho! ho! ho!"
With this, Mr. Weller launched into convulsions of laughter, while Sam regarded him with a broad grin gradually overspreading his whole countenance.
"They've come to have a little serious talk with you, Samivel," said Mr. Weller, wiping his eyes. "Don't let out nothin' about the unnat'ral creditor, Sammy."
"Wot, don't they know who it is?" inquired Sam.
"Not a bit on it," replied his father.
"Vere are they?" said Sam, reciprocating all the old gentleman's grins.
"In the snuggery," rejoined Mr. Weller. "Catch the red-nosed man a goin' any vere but vere the liquors is; not he, Samivel, not he. Ve'd a wery pleasant ride along the road from the Markis this mornin', Sammy," said Mr. Weller, when he felt himself equal to the task of speaking in an articulate manner. "I drove the old piebald in that 'ere little shay-cart as belonged to your mother-in-law's first wenter, into vich a harm- cheer wos lifted for the shepherd; and I'm blest," said Mr. Weller, with a look of deep scorn: "I'm blest if they didn't bring a protable flight o' steps out into the road a front o' our door, for him to get up by."
"You don't mean that?" said Sam.
"I do mean that, Sammy," replied his father, "and I vish you could ha' seen how tight he held on by the sides wen he did get up, as if he wos afeerd o' being precipitayted down full six foot, and dashed into a million o' hatoms. He tumbled in at last, however, and avay he vent; and I rayther think, I say I rayther think, Samivel, that he found his-self a little jolted wen ve turned the corners."
"Wot, I s'pose you happened to drive up agin a post or two?" said Sam.
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